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I can't feel anything in sex,but I'm hyper sexual?

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I can assure you your not broken. I see this stuff as the younger me. Of my bodies saying no it's not broken it's traumatised and deserves to be nurtured and loved. Instead of being angry at my body I try and see how normal it is after trauma that sex would be too much. I go through phases where sex and masturbating is mind blowingly amazing and very very healing. But I'm only like that when I'm in a good place, feeling good about my self and who i am. If I'm drained or stressed then it's a complete write off. For over a year now ive been disconnected sexually. It's vert frustrating and causes lots of depressing feelings but we're definitely not broken. Were humans and were healing x
 
hoping the person wouldn't touch me but that I could please them...all along I have no idea how to do emotional intimacy,
Very much relate to this. Was pretty much my life. I divorced my husband four years ago and in that time had hoped to figure out emotional intimacy. It’s a very slow process for me.
 
Very much relate to this. Was pretty much my life. I divorced my husband four years ago and in that time had hoped to figure out emotional intimacy. It’s a very slow process for me.
I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’d like to hear more about what divorce and then living alone as a single woman (sorry if you otherwise identify) has been like for you with PTSD? I am new here, literally searching the site by topic “divorce” hoping to give myself the courage to take that step myself.
 
@Miss Scapegoat I would like to answer your question but I am feeling rather tired right now. I will sleep on it and hopefully come up with something for you tomorrow. I have a diary which is currently active so you can find it on the main page for member diaries. I started it when I was still married and trying to figure out how to save my marriage. You can skim it and see if anything jumps out at you. I moved into my own place in May of 2019 so you can also find that spot in my diary if you like. Welcome to the site. Lots to sift through here!
 
@Miss Scapegoat I would like to answer your question but I am feeling rather tired right now. I will sleep on it and hopefully come up with something for you tomorrow. I have a diary which is currently active so you can find it on the main page for member diaries. I started it when I was still married and trying to figure out how to save my marriage. You can skim it and see if anything jumps out at you. I moved into my own place in May of 2019 so you can also find that spot in my diary if you like. Welcome to the site. Lots to sift through here!
Sorry for hijacking this post with my question!

Thank you for your reply. Making my way through now. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I am so impressed with your ability to be vulnerable and share your story. It takes a lot of courage. I can see the growth throughout your years of posting. I hope you feel that you’re in a better place than when you started.
 
I completely relate to the "pleasure" or at leats RUSH is in my head as well - not my genitals when I am acting out on my dark-sex stuff(anonymous/strangers). Until reading your post, I never made that distinction. But yes I was either numb or in pain. And even as I write this and flash back to some episodes, it brings back that mental arousal - but no reaction elsewhere. Thanks for sharing and your insights give me food for thought. Hope you are well - this post was over a year ago.
I was 22 when I realised I had some sort of addiction to sex but I'd never been sexually attracted to the people (usually disgusted) I'd never felt a stab of pleasure. Either nothing or pain.

I started getting huge dopamine rushes and validation from giving pleasure and being good at it. I took on a highly sexual personality based on hoping the person wouldn't touch me but that I could please them...all along I have no idea how to do emotional intimacy,how to be attracted to people and still find myself entertaining People I'm not attracted to.
It's like I can't understand I deserve to be in love. If someone wants my body but I don't want them it's feels safer to just let them have it. I don't act out on the unhealthy sex now. I'm learning to give myself pleasure and getting better at emotional intimacy but when I do sleep with someone..
That I'm attracted too and trust. I can barely feel anything. It's been 14 years..I've had sex therapy,celibacy...self love practises
It's like my bits are broken 💔
 
It was so amazing and healing to get these messages back and not feel alone. I have since been in a loving relationship for the first time ever. Fallen in love for the first time ever and received unconditional love for the first time. I am feeling so many different types of sexual pleasure to the point of crying with joy in sex...then also some days I can't feel anything but my partner completely understands and holds me. I've learnt that if I'm truly loved (not in the way. I was in my childhood) but in a unconditional way my body can feel but I need patience as sometimes I just can't be touched. It's a beautiful journey with lots of twists.
 
It was so amazing and healing to get these messages back and not feel alone. I have since been in a loving relationship for the first time ever. Fallen in love for the first time ever and received unconditional love for the first time. I am feeling so many different types of sexual pleasure to the point of crying with joy in sex...then also some days I can't feel anything but my partner completely understands and holds me. I've learnt that if I'm truly loved (not in the way. I was in my childhood) but in a unconditional way my body can feel but I need patience as sometimes I just can't be touched. It's a beautiful journey with lots of twists.
I woke up (after rough dreams and a brutal day yesterday), knocked something over while trying to let my wife slwep, and opened your reply. My daily initial feelings of being a worthless and hopeless loser lifted the further i got in reading your words! I don't even know you and feel such a deep joy for you!! Thank you for sharing!
 
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