ms spock
VIP Member
I Completed All Tracks From The Mindful Way Through Depression This Morning.
It has taken three years to get to this point in my mindfulness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of my dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation it was very hard to do mindfulness and when I did it I had to do it very skillfully so as to not do it whilst dissociated or derealised or depersonalised! Or to make myself substantially worse! That took a lot of practice and a lot more practice. And then I practiced some more.
I started out very, very small and built up with daily practices. Of course it was the nature of my mind to wander and dissociate, derealise and depersonalise so I had to continuously learn to remember to come back to the practice. My inner critic was most helpful in its continued presence. So a special shout out to that inner critic. But it is the nature of the inner critic to be a most dreadful pain in the butt, and sometimes I can even watch that and name it "Inner Critic" "Inner Critic!"
I did Mindfulness at a time when I was profoundly depressed and in massive rumination that it was actually dangerous for me to do Mindfulness at that time. (I unfortunately missed out on the understanding of what rumination was and that it even existed- it never permeated!) So I really learnt the hard way what not to do and why Mindfulness is dangerous for certain people in particular states. I might write about that one day. When you have active suicidal ideation - it is generally NOT the time to begin mindfulness, except in the most limited way. Anyway there is much to be said about that.
Anyway I never thought I would get a practice to this level I was like wanting to do 1 minute three times per day or 5 minutes - so I started out very, very small and stayed very, very small. I stayed for the longest time in the lower levels of it all.
Anyway something to write home about - if you had a home to go to - which now I am developing in myself.
Though there was some mindful disco - and it helped me (might not work for anyone else) there was also other types of mindfulness that I found by experimenting a little bit, so that was helpful. To meld it to what you have - doing stuff that is bodiless is not good for me, so I be in my body and do the exercise and it really worked out this morning. Interesting stuff.
Doing the challenge with people on this forum has helped too.
I did it this morning - I just did the mindfulness!
Cheers,
ms spock
It has taken three years to get to this point in my mindfulness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of my dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation it was very hard to do mindfulness and when I did it I had to do it very skillfully so as to not do it whilst dissociated or derealised or depersonalised! Or to make myself substantially worse! That took a lot of practice and a lot more practice. And then I practiced some more.
I started out very, very small and built up with daily practices. Of course it was the nature of my mind to wander and dissociate, derealise and depersonalise so I had to continuously learn to remember to come back to the practice. My inner critic was most helpful in its continued presence. So a special shout out to that inner critic. But it is the nature of the inner critic to be a most dreadful pain in the butt, and sometimes I can even watch that and name it "Inner Critic" "Inner Critic!"
I did Mindfulness at a time when I was profoundly depressed and in massive rumination that it was actually dangerous for me to do Mindfulness at that time. (I unfortunately missed out on the understanding of what rumination was and that it even existed- it never permeated!) So I really learnt the hard way what not to do and why Mindfulness is dangerous for certain people in particular states. I might write about that one day. When you have active suicidal ideation - it is generally NOT the time to begin mindfulness, except in the most limited way. Anyway there is much to be said about that.
Anyway I never thought I would get a practice to this level I was like wanting to do 1 minute three times per day or 5 minutes - so I started out very, very small and stayed very, very small. I stayed for the longest time in the lower levels of it all.
Anyway something to write home about - if you had a home to go to - which now I am developing in myself.
Though there was some mindful disco - and it helped me (might not work for anyone else) there was also other types of mindfulness that I found by experimenting a little bit, so that was helpful. To meld it to what you have - doing stuff that is bodiless is not good for me, so I be in my body and do the exercise and it really worked out this morning. Interesting stuff.
Doing the challenge with people on this forum has helped too.
I did it this morning - I just did the mindfulness!
Cheers,
ms spock
