I Could Belt Him Into Next Week

[Anglesachse]

Just had a call from the school, where my nipper goes.

They need to have a chat with us, seems he has been in a little to much trouble since he started there, 5 weeks ago.

My son, has social issues, resulting in violence. Mainly due to having been exposed to me I guess :notworthy:. anyhows, he was at a Normal Primary school, and the threw himout because of his agression, so he ended up at an "Integration Schule" basicly a school for kids with social problems. finished off Primary and moved on to High School, but again an "Integration Schule", spent the last year getting himself together, as he wanted to go to a proper school, where he could realy learn. He was doing realy good, Therpist visits, the whole 9 yards. had realy changed.

German high schools are broken down to abilty levels. best to worst are.
Gymnasium: leaving age 18. the best, most kids go from here to Uni
Real: leaving age is 17. Ok, can still get to Uni, with a bit of work, but mainly Office workers and Higher class Trades have been here
Haupt: leaving age is 16. Not a hope in hell of Uni, a lot of kids here end up doing the Lower Trades but there is a big majority who just fall out of school at 16 and don`t even finish their exams

Gesamt: basicly a mix of the 3 above. so you can work your way out of a pit.

The "integrations Schule" is allways a "Haupt" classification. and they are glad when 1 quater of the kids finish their exams. Not the place my son needs to be, Maths and Physics he can`t get enough of, and sportier you couldn`t get if you crossed a rugbyball with a running shoe. He has been bringin home A and B marks in all lessons since being at school. So we chatted with schools last year to get him moved to a good school. We found one a Gesamt school, willing to take him and give him a chance "f*cking great"

Turned up there and found another kid who he knew from the Primary school. problem is they`re like chalk and cheese. Friends, but way different. Vince, isn`t the brightest kid on the block and a bit of a gob shite. turns out they mess around together in the breaks, and a couple of times it has come to blows.

I now need to have a chat with my nipper, and explain that if he doesn`t buck up his ideas, they are gonna send him back to the shit hole he was in before. Not only would it destroy his mum, my misses. He would drown in the chaos of the school, and would be luckly to leave with any exams under his belt. A total waste of a young life.
He would make a f*cking great Officer, one of those people that every f*cker likes, clever, brainy, helpfull, and curtious, you would gladly follow him to hell and back, because you know he wouldn`t ask you to do anything he wouldn`t do himself, and to boot, a nasty little bastard when you back him into a corner, real guts and honour stuff, all that at the age of 11.

Worst part about this though is I need to tell the misses the school called and we have an appointment on Tuesday at 0800. :speechless: It is going to put her into a right depression. I might just mention it on the day that she is gonna be late for work, at least then she doesn`t fall into the pit over the weekend.

And it was all going so f*cking well. "F*CKING BOLLOCKS"

 

[Zipperhead]

My wife enrolled my little buddy in a special group for kids whose fathers have PTSD. Okay, not a group you want your kids in. But the premise is that they teach the kids that dads way of dealing with things might not be the best, but it's not really his fault. They are suppose to teach other ways of dealing with social issues. So far they seem to be stuck in teaching them how to tell people what's going on and asking for help. "Go and tell someone you trust" as it were. I'm not seeing allot of use to the course, and even find it a bit insulting, like they are saying he needs this info because I'm going to beat him or something. But in the end, I hope he learns that how to deal with anger better than I do. I know the course is here because I still live deside a Base, but maybe there is some kind of help available around your neck of the woods too. I know you're in the "middle of no wheres" but in Germany that means you're 10 minutes from a city, so you never know. I just wish these social workers here would get off the "what to do if someones beating you" thread and move on to something my little bubby could actually use.

 

[Anglesachse]

yeah tell me about it zip mate. thats about as far as stuff is over here at the moment, "what to do if someone beats you" realy gets on my wick.

I haven`t heard of a group for kids out here that help them with the "Fathers PTSD" issue, i`ll have to ask my therapist if she knows of anything like that. it sounds like a damn fine idea, if it gets done properly. The only reason I could see it not being available out here, would be due to the fact that the German Army has only been Actively involved in Combatzones outside "The Fatherland" since Kosovo, PTSD isn`t a real issue you hear about out here at the moment, but the Tsunami is definatly on its way, they have got a lot of catching up to do (unfortunatly). But I am dfinatly gonna ask on Monday, and I can google abit in the mean time

Thanks for the tip Mucker

 

[Zipperhead]

The program here is called the Children with Parents who have Experienced Trauma (or CPET). It was developed by a Social Worker for use with Military Dependants, and is sponsered by the Military Family Resource Centre. They run programs at all the major bases across Canada. There doesn't seem to be allot of info on the net about it. They seem to keep it quiet for privacy issues. Good hunting.

 

[Jimmy1]

Well mate, I think we have these probs relating to our behavior. When I was deployed to Iraq, my boy was classed as one of the top 3 in a school of over 300 as an rude and angry boy who was difficult to teach.
Then just before he was 12 he got in the shit for running over the tray and then the bonnet of a really hot ute, followed by getting caught smashing windows and throwing rocks into the plaster of an abandoned house.

That was 2 years ago. He has been in front of the Police for something inappropriate he said online to a young girl at his high school too.

Hopefully he has his head screwed on now. He is bringing in good report cards and his teachers say he has the potential. But, sometimes if something is bothering him he just shuts down and refuses to follow their directions.

They have a military group there, but I am no longer military. I send him to a regular shrink and he does have issues which I blame myself for.

What do we do. Or do we have expectations which are way too high. Its not wrong to want the best, but at what age do we let them make some decisions with regards to their future