I Don't Know What Disassociation Is

[dougyhowzer]

So I don't know have a great vocabulary but I hear the word disassociation comes up often in PTSD .

What is it and what does it mean in my own battle.

 

[Go Hungry]

Disassociation is a common thing among people. If you've ever been driving down the road and started thinking about something, and then all of a sudden you are much closer to your destination than you've thought, you've disassociated. Also daydreaming. Normal thing. But it can also serve as a sort of defense mechanism against trauma or bad times. In that case people can disassociate in many ways. Some will have sensations of leaving their body. Others can end up separating parts of their personality into fragments or full blown alternate personas in order to separate themselves from traumas in their mind.

In my case, I disassociate into something similar to separate personalities, except that I can generally remember what it is I have done during those time periods. So they are more like.. different frameworks for processing the world, with their own quirks. Some are nice, some are not. It just depends.

It's not that abnormal among those with PTSD, and it's not something to be ashamed of. The human body just has certain ways of dealing with untenable thoughts and that is one of them. There is lots of info on the net, a little while on google can turn of some good results.

 

[silkleaves]

With me, my disassociation is a complete disconnect. It can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours, but I have no memory of what happened during that time.

It happens often when I'm driving (so I'll end up getting lost...a lot! and I'm almost always late getting places, because I'll "check out" and when I come to, I'm on the wrong side of town...or worse, back home again) even if I'm going somewhere I've been a million times before, I always try to have my GPS on to tell me where to go, otherwise I joke, I'll start off just needing to check the mail end up on the other side of the Gulf of Mexico.

It happens more when I'm under stress or upset about something, but sometimes it can happen for no reason, I simply shut down out of the blue. My therapist said there is always a reason, just that I am not aware of it and need to focus on finding out what triggers it.

But anyway, I *think* the biggest thing with it is disassociation is a disconnect from who you are and what you are doing. I've heard quite a bit of the alternate personalities like @Go Hungry mentioned... I guess I don't have any alternates to fall back on, so I just completely check out and am mentally gone. Where to is anyone's guess.

 

[dougyhowzer]

Thank you for the replies . They have been very helpful.

I understand better and con definitely relate. My disassociation often occurs in many ways. Usually on the subway I will listen to music but then at some point I am not even listening to the music or being aware of my surroundings .


I also daydream a lot when I am not focusing on anything. I day dream on the transit . I day dream for 3-6 hours when I am at home in bed .

And I am not even aware of how much time goes by when playing video games or staying in bed.

 

[Deleted member 18673]

When I dissociate I don't have a blackout/loss of memory or a personality split. What I feel is an extreme disconnection from the world and nothing is getting through. I feel like I'm in the proverbial glass bell jar, where I can see the outside world but I can't feel it. Nothing reaches my senses as pretty or nice to listen to or enjoyable at all. Everything is flat and grey and so am I and I feel like I'm wandering a vast wasteland with nothing to catch my attention, nothing to stir my mind, nothing to feel physically or emotionally. I feel empty and like a ghost, trapped in some sort of Hades. I can go to a concert and the music seems distant, far away, and unenjoyable. So basically for me it's a disconnection with the world and a shutdown of emotion, a kind of walking hibernation.[DOUBLEPOST=1403633722,1403633577][/DOUBLEPOST]This sensation can last for minutes or weeks in my experience. If it's a couple minutes kind of dissociation brought on by anxiety or triggers, usually grounding techniques help. If it's a longer term type thing, I can't bring myself out of it, I have to just be patient and wait for it to pass on it's own.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I dissociate in pretty much every way that you can. I have experienced the blanked out kind of dissociation when I have apparently just been sitting in one spot staring and am completely unresponsive. I have had that disconnected from the world feeling. I have DID (dissociative identity disorder) and so sometimes a complete different part of me (I like to call them parts, but alters is another word) comes out and takes over. I am sometimes aware of what goes on, but sometimes I feel like I was just blanked out, but find out I've actually been doing things. It's pretty weird.

I dissociate when I am scared, feeling intense emotions (sadness, anger, fear), or when I want to avoid something (usually because of the emotions it involves). Hope that helps.

 

[Cadiche]

When I disassociate, I go blank. Like I have checked out of reality and gone into a grey limbo which is warm but without feeling. I also start rocking back and forth. When I return from my trance, the rocking continues. It is hard to stop and quite often I go blank again. Just sitting, staring blankly at nothing, and rocking at the same speed that my heart beats.

 

[silkleaves]

Hrmm... I can relate @JEKBreatheandBelieve ... it feels like a foggy feeling. Like theres a frosted window between me and the world. That can definitely hit me and last for weeks, months even. I have depression too, so it's hard to tell where one begins, the other ends, what's heightening what. Very frustrating to try and figure out.

 

[ggsparky]

When I dissiocate i feel like stuff is moving slow and it doesn't matter cuz it isn't real. When I was at work and dissiocating my perception would be off like the car mirror windows were they are closer then they appear. People were kinda flying around me and I couldn't ground myself to know how close or how far they were. Also Today I been dissociating and basically thinking way to much that I don't remember drivin. Which is bad cuz the road conditions are not great