I don't think I can take it anymore...

[xASHIpeachesx_]

It hurts to live now... I'm tired of feelling this way.. I have tried everything and the pain is still here.... My heart is breaking and I don't want to be here... All I can think about is me being dead in a hospital not waking up... It hurts and I can control anything... I want this end this pain... Please no more...

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @xASHIpeachesx_ - It seems you are having a rough time with a relationship and not coping very well?

No relationship break up or break down is worth you thinking like that ^^.

You need to take a break and have a rest. You will find a way through this.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I hope you will call a crisis line, or take yourself to the Emergency Dept. You sound like you need more help than we can give you here. Please, please, get some outside help.

 

[xASHIpeachesx_]

It's becoming to unbearable....

I can't get any help... I have tried crisis counselors and they don't help... And I have been on suicide watch before... It's even worse.....

 

[Ronin]

You can find help if you hang in there, maybe you have not found it before, but it will be there.

What do you need most, now, Ashi?
You WILL get through this.

 

[Juso]

I know this hopelessness so well and I am so very sorry you have to suffer from it. But what I also know is this wonderful feeling of relief. I have been relieved I didn't end my life so many times. Because the truth is that you never know what great things are still waiting for you, no matter how old you are, no matter your current situation. You just don't know. Life is so much bigger than we can ever imagine, and this will NOT stay with you forever. Life is very short either way, so much shorter than we always think, and you will die at some point, so can you try to live until then? I promise you it will be worth it even though you cannot see or feel this at the moment. But please trust me. Please.

 

[xASHIpeachesx_]

It hurts I can't deal with this ...I have been trying so long...

 

[Ronin]

If this is about the relationship, you said to someone on the forum You were born alone, and you will manage alone fine, too.

If this is about pain, there is still so much that can be done and tried, so do not give up on yourself for the bad years?

 

[xASHIpeachesx_]

It's about the relationship but idk why those thoughts are not helping me anymore.... It would usually work but I'm still in pain

 

[blackemerald1]

I think when we are in emotional pain it can circle us and we cannot find a way out for ourselves.

It is really good you are reaching out here to express how you feel and to describe your pain. I think this means that you are still searching for a way forward and that means that maybe just a very small part of you believes in hope. And that is a really good thing.

My suggestion is that you hang onto that hope and nurture it. It will lead you out of this terrible place.

What do you think you would advise a much loved friend or relative if they were in the same place you now find yourself in?

Would you say abandon life or stick with it?

Would you describe how incredibly valuable and important they are to you and to all the unknown people and experiences that life is yet to visit upon them?

Yes you would. You would be their bridge back. You would say don't go because there is so much here for you.

Is there someone in your real world that you can reach out to and ask for that kind of comfort? Please pick up that phone and dial that person today. Tell them you are in pain and need them to just sit with you. Even just over the phone while you work you way through this time.

If you don't know of a person like this then call one of the suicide help lines that may be available where you are.

It is up to you to do the reaching out.

This place isn't designed for suicide prevention and nobody here can be with you in your real world. However there are people that can help you where you are. Reach out and find those people.

In the meantime keep that hope alive. Feed and care for yourself as if you were that much loved friend or relative.

Keep sustaining yourself and we will support you as bring yourself back and settle with staying alive and living.

You are worth it. :hug: