General I Fell Down And Can't Get Up..

[dayglo]

Well she reduced me to tears once today. To her credit, she stopped immediately when she say what happened. It's not fun not being able to cough or clear your throat once you are upset like that...

 

[dayglo]

She seems to have one "meltdown" per day. Yesterday I was on the phone telling a friend how I remember getting the hiccups in the hospital and that that was very painful. She blew up accusing me of telling a friend something and "hiding" it from her. It was only after I told her I was going to have to check into a hotel that she finally calmed down.

 

[Raj]

I am truly sorry you are going through this, I took care of my grandfather (in a similar situation), as much as my hpyochondraich grandmother would allow. You and your wife are in my prayers. I admire your strength!

 

[dayglo]

Now she's angry at me because I "only look at the negative" and "ignore" all of the positives she's done over the last few weeks. Sheesh, maybe I did thank her, but it's never enough (and I also had other things on my mind.)

Sometimes it seems like dealing with a child who needs to be praised every five minutes.

 

[ms spock]

Good luck with it all dayglo. I hope you get some respite.

 

[dayglo]

Well, we didn't have any blowouts today. Maybe it's a start

 

[dayglo]

No blowouts yesterday.

Just had the catherer removed. Felt like I pissed out a marble covered with barbed wire. But less than a second after she found out I was OK, my wife is talking about "how traumatized" she was seeing me in the recovery room after the surgery and how I have to be "understanding" of what she's gone through when she starts acting out. Like I haven't been through a lot.

 

[The Albatross]

I am listening and hoping to God that I never do this to my husband if he needs me. I think I handled his first two surgeries pretty well. Tune her out as best as you can and concentrate on healing. I'm really sorry you're going through all this at a time when you're on the mend. When do you get your post-op?

 

[dayglo]

Last night was really rough. When she reduced me to tears once again (with total loss of bladder control), she smirked at me and said "You need a therapist".

 

[The Albatross]

I think I'd be calling her out on her capacity for cruelty particularly since you are hardly able to care for yourself. She needs the therapist, and maybe a bit of a reality check.

I think I would arrange to have help in and get her out of the way if at all possible. She is clearly not capable of being compassionate or managing with your after care.

 

[dayglo]

I called her therapist and left a message. When she heard that the cancer in my prostate had spread (but **all within the prostate**), it triggered her. It didn't matter whether or not it was all out (which it was, which the Dr was *HAPPY* to report, it still triggered her.

 

[dayglo]

To be clear..... trigger: when my wife heard that the cancer in my prostate had spread (but **all within the prostate**), It didn't matter whether or not it was all out (which it was, which the Dr was *HAPPY* to report), it still triggered her.

Stressor:It's reminding her younger sister who died at 15 after 2 horrible years of suffering. Stressor:It's making her wonder who will take care of *her* if something bad happens to me. Stressor: It's making her wonder who will take care of my son since she is not even capable of doing so on her own.

The sad thing is I feel could get my bladder under control if not for all of this. Of all of the possible worst-case-scenarios on how she could have acted, this exceeds even my most pessimistic expectations.