It's been a while, but I thought I would check in and fill everybody in... Not in a good way.
My prostate surgery was a success, my PSA level is still zero. That's the good news.
Things were relatively quiet for a while (which means walking on eggshells, but no rage-fueled PTSD blowouts.
Now we are planning for a big event for my son. Need to invite relatives. She's disowned all of her close relatives.
She doesn't get along with any of my relatives. So who is left?
The planning of the event has increased her stress and tension (even though the event is in June). It's bringing back all of the bad memories of her childhood. During one argument on Friday she took out a knife and locked herself in the bathroom.
I left her alone as I know she's just doing it as a cry for attention.
After a while she calmed down and said she was sorry. I though it was over. Boy was I wrong.
Today, she calls my sister who says she can't make it to the rehersal.
She's now livid at my sister and told me I could not invite her to the event.
I told her she had no right to do that and she said "it's her or me. Answer me. Its her or me. You've always loved your family more than me so now I'm telling you that you have to make a choice. It's her or me".
Maybe I should have refused to answer. But I finally had enough and told her that I refuse to be put in that position and it's my relatives and I will do what I want.
She lost it. She was walking around screaming and throwing things.
She told me things like
"every time you go to your mothers I'm going to Nordstrom and spend $1000 dollars".
"you weren't thinking about me when you went to grandma's house"
"I'm invisible"
I'm your number zero and I always have been and i always will be. when you visit my headstone (if you make it this far, maybe someone in your family will tell you you shouldn't - maybe they will order you to stick me in the backyard. my headstone will say I'm a Big ZERO. And you should make sure that when our son visits my headstone you should make sure tell him why there's a zero on it, so he understands why he lost his mommy.
I'm invisible. every opinion I have is ignored, turned upside down or hemmed and hawed. I the lowest in the priority list .
You get the idea. Finally I said I had enough and I packed up my bags to leave. I come back in to grab some medicine and I see our 12-year-old son screaming hysterically and saying he going to call 911. It seems she took out the knife and was staring at it when our son walked in.
I grabbed the phone and decided to call 911. She stormed out in the car. The police came and they caught her driving a block away. Now she's in a medical center.
She just called me, once again livid, saying that's she'd stuck in a dirty waiting room and no one has come to see her and it's all my fault for calling the police and she claims that I said that she "pulled a knife on my son" so they want to keep her for 15 days. (I never said that, I don't know if that's her interpretation or what the bureaucracy is doing there.
I started a new job four months ago and now I have to take off from work.
Well, what I'm really asking is what and how exactly should I do when a)she calls, b)I visit her c)should I bring our 12-year-old to visit? And especially d) what do I do when she is released and back home? Sorry if I am venting but I'm emotionally exhausted, fed up, and scared.
By the way, does anyone know of a therapist in the NYC-tristate area who specializes in therapy with supporters?
