I Gave Up...

[Lost.n.confused]

I found a T that I really began to like. Then I hit a low and canceled one of my appointments. I went back for my next appointment and she told me I came in at the wrong time, and instead of asking to make another appointment she just walked away.

How am I suppose to have trust in this T if she makes me feel like I don't matter?

I also quit taking all my medications about three months ago and this was my first "manic" episode.

I live in a small town so T's are very few and hard to come by..

Just feeling a little lost...

 

[Friday]

You made a mistake. It's not that you don't matter, but her other clients matter just as much. Reverse it: if you were in session, during your time, should your therapist drop you to attend to a client who came in at the wrong time? You know now how she'll handle that situation: she'll excuse herself briefly, let them know they're there at the wrong time, and rejoin your session. Mixing up times isn't the end of the world. Pretty much everyone does it at least once.

 

[TonyG]

Hello,
I am intrested to know why you quit your medication and weather you did it in a controlled way with your doctors help, or just cold turkey.

 

[Lost.n.confused]

I understand completely that her other clients are just as important as I am. But I didn't take her out of a session, she was in the office. Or at the front desk when I walked in. I guess I thought there would be a little compassion on her part to say "why don't you talk to the secretary and reschedule" instead she was cold. And I couldn't handle the way she handled the situation. ...

TonyG- I quit them cold turkey. Because of my past I have a problem taking medication. And the medication I was on, yes, decreased my anxiety to null. But it also gave me that "I don't care" attitude that was effecting my children and my relationship.

I am trying different coping skills. My anxiety isn't so bad, down to one attack a day, but my relationship with my kids and fiancé is so much better. But when I hit "manic" I drop low... And it takes me a couple days to come out of the funk.

 

[Nam]

I get like this sometimes when I make a mistake. I hate making mistakes. It really bothers me. For some reason, I think it's humiliating, embarrassing, and stressful. And to make myself feel better, I expect people that care for me to smooth it out a bit. And if they don't, I get upset. But really, it's not their issue. I needed to accept the mistake I made. And forgive myself. I have a simple story to illustrate my point. I ran a four way stop sign because I thought I was on a different street. (I took a different way home than usual.) The car that was supposed to go got really angry behind me. He even passed me on a residential street (not legal) and gave me the finger as he drove by. I was really sorry. I even wanted to tell him that I was sorry. That is was a simple mistake. But then I got mad at him. I was so bothered that I was upset over an angry driver. But later, I realized I was more upset that I ran that stop sign. I think of myself as a good driver and my mistake cast doubt on that. The feelings got easier to handle when I put the anger in the right place/person to deal with it.

You might be more upset that you made the mistake than the reaction of your therapist. I'm sure it didn't help any. Try really hard not to make broad assumptions or conclusions based on this event. Make another appointment. Make sure you write it down on the right day and time. And start over. If you feel that you need to bring it up with your therapist in order to feel safe and secure at your appointments, please do.

 

[Rumors]

Any chance you may have misunderstood her reaction bc you were triggered?? Sometimes when I am stressed and feeling anxiety over things I can perceive someone's reaction to me as short or cold when it is really me who is being overly sensitive. I would call and make another appointment. When you go in, I think you should address how you felt and see if that was her actual intention or your perception. Why wouldn't you? You may find out you were all wrong and learn something new about yourself.

 

[TonyG]

My down days are the best days to go in and say it as it is,

 

[joeylittle]

How am I suppose to have trust in this T if she makes me feel like I don't matter?

She didn't "make" you feel that way; you interpreted her actions and words as saying "you don't matter". But that's you, not her.

Truly, you have no idea what she may or may not have been in the middle of. People come by my office, see me reading something, and assume they can come in and get their problem solved or question answered. If I can do it, I do. If I can't, I say "make an appointment". I suspect it was a boundaries thing for her, and a rejection thing for you.

Make an appointment and talk about it.