I Guess Im Depressed

[theotherside]

And feeling like a failure..

And im gaining weight..
And thats making me feel worse. Im so tired of feeling like dog #%@` with no hope for the future. I really hope my new T can help. I use to be generally happy and hopeful.
Is there hope for me? Has anyone got better with meds?

 

[Senecia]

There are always going to be bad days in recovery, and things can always get better. With the right 'ingredients', a good therapist, meds, even lifestyle, I have immense hope that things can and will turn around for you. Persistence is really important here. We're here for you in the whole process. Try to accept where you are right now without shaming yourself. Its hard, but it helps. At least it did for me

 

[theotherside]

I guess i dont know how to not shame myself since its a lifelong habit. How do i not feel like a failure?
I use to work and go to school and take my kids out, have friends, have fun. I dont have any of that anymore. I used to be happy and have hope.
I think all those things made me feel better about myself..but i dont think i never REALLY felt good about myself..but since i dnt work, dont go to school, dnt take kids out, dont have friends, i feel lowest of lows that i have ever been. Plus all these ptsd symptoms flooding me. Its just horrible

 

[Senecia]

Imagine being an athlete and breaking your leg. You really needed that leg for your career and your whole life. Of course you're going to be devastated when your lifestyle has to completely change, but that doesn't mean who you are, inside, not just your body, has disappeared.
It's still there, and it'll come back. But we have to give that leg time to heal. In the meantime we just have to nurture ourselves.

Just something to think about.. but why do you portray not being in school, work, etc as negative things? Maybe understanding where that comes from can help. I'm in the same position.

 

[theotherside]

Thats a good example for me to think about.
I think working, school and socializing made me feel good enough and normal enough. Without it im like nothing.
I miss working and being in the world but im scared to death of it and can barely survive taking my little one to the park...

 

[Senecia]

Oh I'm glad. Yeah, it's hard to even think about going outside. I saw another post of yours saying you took out your little one! It's sure stressful, but you did do it. That is progress. Keep doing those baby steps. Back to the broken leg thing - The calm, happy you is there always (on the inside), regardless of what you do in the world. Remember that. I'll look out for more of your posts. :)

 

[theotherside]

Thank you :)