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Sexual Assault I Hate You All

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TSG

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Freddie Markel...Uncle Freddie, my Aunt's husband. You abused me from the time I was 3 years old. My mother even walked in on you and saw the blood. You are a sick mother f-er and I am glad that you are dead.

Darrell Gallant...Uncle Darrel, my dad's brother. You were a disgusting and sick bastard and made me feel dirty and afraid to be around you from the time I was 12. I am glad that you died all alone in a puddle of your own puke.

Chris Hernandez...Uncle Chris, my Aunt's husband. You convinced me you were "doing me a favor" by "teaching me" how to please a man from the time I was 9. For a long time I didn't hate you because you were the only real love, kind words and affection that I ever got as a child but to this day you tell people that I am a dirty slut and tell awful lies when I did nothing to you, including telling. I hope that you die, horribly and alone. I hope it is AFTER all of your children and friends find out what sort of monster that you really are. It wasn't just me, either, it was my sisters, too. I suppose it was probably others in the family as well. You are worth less than the saliva it would take to spit on you. If you caught on fire while I was holding a glass of water, I would drink me a glass of water and shut the door on my way out.

Alan Smith...paramedic and "upstanding citizen" who raped a 13-year-old girl who was just babysitting your kids while your premie was in the hospital with your wife. I was only 13, you son of a bitch! You left me to bleed to death telling me that if I told on you that you would kill my family and pets. You are the one who showed up with the squad, then told everyone in that tiny little town that I had a miscarriage. When I got out of the hospital and then mental ward, you chased me down that alley on my way home from the game and told me that if I told anyone you would finish the job so when they questioned me, I didn't speak. I just stared out the window and pretended I was at an amusement park. I tuned out all of them so I didn't even hear their questions. I had to be sewn up on the inside as you shredded my vagina. I had to have a blood transfusion because I was almost dead when the ambulance came. I had to listen to your wife laughing at games with her friends about how I should have learned to keep my pants up for YEARS, then she showed up at the college I was attending and it all started, again. I was tortured and humiliated at school every single day because of the lies you told and because you scared me so bad that I couldn't tell. I had to fight off boys in groups all of high school because your lies led everyone to believe that I was trampy after having a miscarriage at 13 which was a LIE.

Terrell Beckwith...my husband called you friend. I hope they do to you in prison what you did to me. I hope it hurts and that you are scared. I hope that you pathetically beg for your life like I did as you cut me, choked me, beat me and raped me. I am glad that you will die there. I live for that day. I wish you HAD killed me instead of leaving me in this state emptiness that I live in because of you. I hope you burn in Hell.

I hate all of you
 
I understand your hate so well,and when they die your glad but wish it had been your hand that killed them!I understand everything you wrote I to hate my friend,I hate the ones who destroyed my life,made me into someone I am not suppose to be!You f#$$#as cheated us all,you dirty filthy pigs!
 
Yep and now you know you have friends here who are just like you! I am so glad I found this place. I was looking for PTSD to try explain to my so called family & found this place! It's like having kindred spirits! If you ever need to talk I will never not reply, I am your friend now who gets you xoxoxox Theresa
 
I understand as well. Noone else understands the pain and horror. I am so glad to have found this forum. I too had a sexual assault which shredded my vagina as well. Sometimes the scars still burn inside. I feel empty and dead inside most days.
 
I feel sometimes so alone. I mean you cannot just tell anyone about that shit. It is so hard sometimes. I hear people talking about normal stuff. Sometimes I get jealous because I wish I could have had that normal life. Loving parents who actually cared, my first sexual experience being love not abuse. It makes me so angry sometimes I want to scream. It is just so unfair.
 
Anna guess what hun :), we are normal!

The abusers are the sick abnormal subhuman ones! We just need the world to understand us more & be a bit more sensitive as to why we are who we are, we were made this way! Define normal hun? I live on crazy medication yet I am not crazy! Be strong I am trying to be, or as we say in NZ Kia'kaha xox.
 
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