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I Saw Him!

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Mosaic

Bronze Member
Since my attacker stopped harassing me back in October/November time I haven't seen or heard a thing.
I had to use some tactics to get him to leave me alone, he didn't just decide to give me peace which is probably the reason for the constant fear that he's going to come back for me.
Anyway, he lives in the same town as me which means that there is always a likelihood of seeing him but I haven't. I've thought I've driven past him when we were driving opposite directions twice and FREAKED but I wasn't totally sure.
However I've just been to a work meal in my town and on the way in my coworkers car we drove past him. Definitely him.
They don't know who he is and I didn't make it obvious that it set me instantly on edge, I hid it well. I got on with the evening, had a laugh, didn't let it spoil my night.
But.. Now I'm home and the night is over it's all I can think about. I never knew his number plate before but now I have the first 4 numbers drilled in my head.
I have an indescribable fear when it comes to this man.
My boyfriend is out with his friends and now I'm alone, in my head, waiting for the symptoms to gradually worsen as he goes round and round in my head.
This is an accomplishment because I didn't have a panic attack and carried on with my evening to keep up pretenses. But it's an accomplishment followed by a long night of torment.
 
I can relate to so much of this!
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD as a result of being in an abusive relationship and then him stalking me after I left.
He stalked me for 4 months. Apparently this wasn't something new for him because he certainly knew how to get around the stalking laws in my state.
Anyhow, the last I have heard from him was in Nov. if last year. Thankfully we live in a large city. So the probability of me ever seeing him is very slim... but it doesn't keep the anxiety down. I'm terrified every time I leave my apt (thankfully he doesn't know where I leave). I can't handle going to the area of town, I know he frequents. It is more than my nerves can handle!
So my heart goes out to you! Much love :)
 
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