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I Want To Go "home".

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an absence of peace or love or caring, or a presence of violence or unsafety or unpredictablity or even hidden agendas, takes away the relief.
Thank you so much for understanding me. That is exactly how I have been feeling all this years.
I think feeling like one is not welcome in their own home or family cuts deep at the heart and self-esteem level.
There is this wound,too.

I am also thankful I have roof over the head.
 
During the first half of my life I did experience this. I struggled with finding an identity (related directly to never feeling at home anywhere). This led to years of pulling horrible people and horrible environments into my life. I needed intensity in order to feel anything.
I did the opposite of what was needed. What I really needed was safety, love and a sense of being valued by others. Eventually it all came together for me, when and where I least expected it. Things aren't perfect, but at least I've found a "home".
 
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