I Want...

[Anonymous turtle]

Las night, I felt so broken. I found out more bad news about the mess I'm dealing with that I can't share here.

Everything crashed in on me,

I was alone, and I crumbled to the floor in a pile of tears.

All I could think was "I need a friend right now."

I have good friends, I never reach out to them for support. I don't usually want it. I like being around them and having fun, but when the emotional pain of trauma and PTSD comes, I don't ever even think of reaching out to them.

But last night, I longed for it so badly. I cried so hard, I cried so hard I threw up.

I can't bring myself to reach out today. But I really want a friend here. I actually really want it so much.

I wish this part of my heart would go numb again.

 

[Tuzub]

The thing about PTSD is that it's the mark of the warrior. You're never alone, because our kind has the most compassion on the planet. It's empathy, in my eyes, it's not a disability, but a gift.

 

[Iju]

I'm sure you DO have friends here, and one of the things friends are for is to support each other when needed. It's scary to reach out and ask. You could be disappointed, after all. But you might NOT be disappointed too. You never know unless you try and your friends never have the chance to be there for you unless you give them the chance. Better than having that part of your heart go numb again would be to reach out an make a connection with a person or people who want to be your friend.

 

[Aha]

When I reach out to a friend, it feels good to be able to help them. When my life changed forever with my relationships it was when I realized that they too felt like they were 'gifting' when I asked them to help me. It was a tough one though. Maybe if someone knew it would make them feel warm inside and honored to help you.....

 

[Anonymous turtle]

Thanks

I'm not sure how to reach out. How do people do that?

I feel so dumb. Today has been awful trying to wrestle with this feeling.