I Went To The Ex's Fb Page

[Gs172003]

Just to see if it would jog anything and all it did was both piss me off and make me feel guilty at the same time.

I posted elsewhere about how I see him in my now husband and I'm trying to separate the two and I hoped seeing the other one might help. It started out with being nervous. Then pissed. Then,maybe you're making all this up he's not that bad. Then back to pissed. Then looking at his kids pics I noticed he favored the girl just like he did with my kids ( he favored my middle daughter) now I'm back to mixed emotions.

I'm suprised I made it through as good as I did. The first time I saw his page over a year ago my daughter had it open and I saw his pic and I hit the floor bawling. Maybe I was prepared this time. I dunno. Is the way I feel normal or am I crazy and he did nothing wrong and I should just move the hell on?

 

[Gs172003]

Now I feel like crying. But I can't. What the hell.

 

[Deleted member 541]

My daughter has a FB page as does her boyfriend. I used to look at them, now I choose not too. I don't want to have anything to do with either of them, because they have done or are still doing drugs. And because of the shit they caused me, so why would I look at their FB page????

I suggest asking yourself these questions before doing that again.......Is it worth the pain and aggravation to look at it? Will it make me feel better or worse??

 

[SGT1209]

Just to see if it would jog anything and all it did was both piss me off and make me feel guilty at...

Hi, i hope someone else can help here also and that you are able to work through this. I think your feelings are normal for you; I can relate to how you say you are feeling. I could not separate my two. The fear got me, and I walked 8months ago (I regret I had not known then, what I now know about pts). We have been attempting to resolve our issues (he says they are fixable); and I know (my) 'he' did do wrong - however, he repeatedly tells me he didn't (and blames me for all) - and he is so convincing that I believe him - it's like he plays a trump card - when there is none (then I have to turn it all around in my head), he moves goalposts on me too (in the r/ship and now), he is controlling - when i mention this and give fact - he laughs. I see my T 2x/wk for my stuff, and I have no positive feeling toward the previous perpetrator; and yet much positive feeling for this one (even re-reading this I think I shouldn't be confused - the answer is there)... as for moving on - sounds simple enough - it's just not that easy when we are at ill-ease with how we are feeling and thinking about things... take care :)

 

[Gs172003]

I'm regretting it. Big time. I feel like crap. Suicide is crossing my mind where I had a handle on it, the guilt, etc are back. What the hell did I just do????

 

[SGT1209]

I'm regretting it. Big time. I feel like crap. Suicide is crossing my mind where I had a handle on...

You wrote that you went to the fb page to see if it would jog anything..and it did. Now, you have to process what you did, why you did it, and (I think you know) not go there again - own it but don't go blaming yourself, you simply gave yourself a test and the outcome was not what you expected or hoped. Ideation is in me too; you have your children to think of and care for; are you able to focus on them and being the best mum you can be for them (that's what I have always done and it helped me big time to get through). Do you have a T or anyone close that you can talk to about this?

 

[Gs172003]

You wrote that you went to the fb page to see if it would jog anything..and it did. Now, you have to p...

I have a therapist. I'm not going to do anything. The only people that know that though is you all and for now that's how it will stay. I'm at the gym now hopefully I'll beat the crap out of myself enough to feel better.

 

[Gs172003]

You wrote that you went to the fb page to see if it would jog anything..and it did. Now, you have to p...

Oh and my kids are grown and moved out. They are what kept me somewhat sane until now.

 

[Cannottakethis]

Just to see if it would jog anything and all it did was both piss me off and make me feel guilty at the same time...The first time I saw his page over a year ago my daughter had it open and I saw his pic and I hit the floor bawling. Maybe I was prepared this time. I dunno. Is the way I feel normal or am I crazy and he did nothing wrong and I should just move the hell on?

I found that looking at my exes fb page was very stressful and sometimes triggering. My heart would race and I'd go into panic mode. Seeing him with the "new one" was hard, but then I'd remember what a basta*d he was to me and to everyone before me, and know this new chick would be getting the same treatment soon enough.

I also used to compare old husband to new husband. New husband always won every competition. So I stopped. My ex was a real loser who treated me and my cats badly, and staying with him would have been a ginormous mistake.

And now I don't even have Facebook. Not worth all the drama to me to see stuff popping up.

I don't know if my story is similar to yours at all but I hope maybe it helped a little.

 

[Gs172003]

I found that looking at my exes fb page was very stressful and sometimes triggering. My heart would race...

Thank you

 

[Nessa7]

Facebook is really triggering for me. I don't have one. I'll look over my family's shoulders sometimes, but I know that the people they're friends with aren't ones that I find upsetting. The last time someone did look up someone that I don't want to have contact with I ended up literally running away. It took awhile for me to go back into the house, and I didn't go back into the room until they swore that they weren't on facebook.

 

[Gs172003]

Facebook is really triggering for me. I don't have one. I'll look over my family's shoulders sometimes...

I'm sorry