If You Could Change One Thing....

[Innordinate]

I'm crying just thinking about it. I mean really how much control do we have in the first place. I can not change how I reacted to my ex when he kicked me out, but it was because I didn't react that my life turned out so wrong.

If I could change it I would have never married him and would have stayed in New York and finished my bachelors degree in filmmaking.

I don't think you're life turned out so wrong Nadia. I think you're trying to take back decisions that weren't yours to make. Mainly your husbands. I think you made all the right decisions that you possibly could dealing with someone like your ex.

 

[Innordinate]

I would of gone with the one I loved, instead of letting fear control my decision making. This moment in time changed the course of my life.

This is the biggest regret of my life, I threw away my chance at happiness. I loved him till the day he died.

You only threw away your 'what if' chance. You don't really know right. It could've been worse. Keep your what if as a positive, I would think, the positive 'if'. Keep that. Don't dwell on it or beat yourself up for it though.

 

[piratelady]

I would have stayed in therapy after my first trauma. I think that would have drastically changed the last 9 years of my life. I sometimes wonder if I had dealt with my issues then that perhaps some of my decisions since then would have been better.

 

[Loloma]

you only threw away your 'what if' chance. you don't really know right. It could've been worse. Keep your what if as a positive, I would think, the positive 'if'. Keep that. Don't dwell on it or beat yourself up for it though.

Thanks Innordinate, of course your right. I will keep the positive 'if'.

Nice to see that your still on the forum and giving good advice. :):tup:

 

[Deleted member 10686]

If I could change one thing, I would go back in time and leave my abuser while still pregnant, that way I could save my son from ever having to meet or be near him. If I had fled sooner, it would have made things so much simpler, instead of worrying about losing custody to a sociopath, I could have already been gone.

 

[p-no]

I would have liked some things to be different. At the times though, I could not do anything differently. I did the best I could and so asking me this question doesn't work. But having asked me this question and thinking about it prompted me to think about what it is I can change now and in the near future. It has reminded me of things I could not change then, but may well be able to change now if they happened again.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am trying to change one thing. When I get a negative thought stop it and replace it with a positive thought. I will commit to this and I will practice this until it becomes a habit. I am determined to do this. I have a chance to do some real good for myself.

 

[Charmedone]

If I could change one thing I wasn't in control of it would be for my mother to never have got pregnant with me in first place.

If I could change one thing I was in control of, I would have saved my sister.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If I can change just one thing I would change all the negative thoughts to the positive. And I am working on it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If I could change one thing, I would be on the forum when I first got diagnosed in 1985, could have saved myself a lot of grief and hard lessons. Better late than never. That is what counts.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If I could change one thing, I would have gone to al anon when my husband was a alcoholic.

 

[Privateer]

I'd go back to my last year in the army and be more careful where I was putting my damned leg.