Iamsensative
Silver Member
So strange how memories returned. I had 2 children under 5. I started reading child abuse books, i thought i was sick. I started becoming afraid to go out. But again i stuffed it, i had to leave my marriage the abuse was causing me more terror. I was the old age of 25, i continued keep this in my subconscious, never understanding why i was so afraid of not pleasing, terrified something would happen to my children. Another trauma my son gets sexually abused, i have to be strong. My mothers husband, retired detective. I made it through my boys high school. I was numb, i had no joy and all i wanted was for them to be ok. I could then die, really all i wanted was to die. I had been living with severe depression and anxiety bur not knowing. Until one day pushed to the edge at work, fear hit me. I broke, literally i could not stop crying, i had no clue what was wrong with me. 6 months later i disclosed in therapy, i only remembered pieces and once i started slowlt more memories. So here i am 52 yrs old and yrs later still in counseling. I hope someday to be normal whatever normal is.
