Holy crap guys. I'm actually getting better with communicating with my mom. I'm gonna think of what just happened as a positive. I stayed calm and explained what she has been doing to me for the past week. I went over the fight play by play and asked her why she did what she did if not to purposely set off my ocd. She coulnd't answer. She kept refusing she did anything. she kept saying I'm on the wrong medicine and it's my mental illness. Then she started saying things like "even if I did" and "it doesn't matter" and "just get over it." That's as close to an admission as I was going to get so I moved on. I talked about who she can't just change house rules at her will. Especially if those rules were helping me to get better. I told her she can't put me down all the time. I used an example of it from the conversation we actually were in. This whole week has been one of those "you arent getting better" "you don't help yourself" weeks. She told me I've been getting worse for "10 days" I reminded her how good last week was and how we got along and stuff, I made her do the math on her 10 days. I've been bad for 4. she amplifies everything in her head. It's a huge issue. But I actually got through to her. well enough for her to see some of the things she has been doing are harmful. Really that's good enough for me atm. Although I would love an admission of guilt and apology for using my severe ocd against me. Today has been the least shitty day of the week. "Success" right?
PS figuring out where to post my posts actually make me smile and gives me some sort of perverse enjoyment. Also it's actually a great help in processing feelings. I still think the immense amount of overlap is ironic(? )
I'll eventually come back to the chat btw. Things have been pretty f*cked up lately. hope all is well to the chat friends and post friends I have made and have been making. Plus everyone else on here. Best wishes, Buddey.
PS figuring out where to post my posts actually make me smile and gives me some sort of perverse enjoyment. Also it's actually a great help in processing feelings. I still think the immense amount of overlap is ironic(? )
I'll eventually come back to the chat btw. Things have been pretty f*cked up lately. hope all is well to the chat friends and post friends I have made and have been making. Plus everyone else on here. Best wishes, Buddey.
