Interviewing Therapists

[hailstorm]

Hi everyone.
I have been reading the posts in myptsd and have found them to be so much more helpful than my recent therapist. I have been suffering from PTSD from several traumas in my life for quite a number of years but have just this past year decided that I needed help with my symptoms.
I was in therapy...on and off with this therapist that does not seem to want me to be able to control any aspect of my therapy. Recently at my last session with him he inadvertently triggered a traumatic memory and I had to leave his office. So I called the office and told the receptionist that I no longer want him as my therapist, that I would like a female therapist.
I had my first appt with her recently and she pretty much took the regions and wouldn't allow me to interview her to see if we would be a good fit.
Am I being too picky? Should I just count my blessings and take what is offered or is it acceptable to seek out the therapist that I believe can help me the most?

 

[JustBe]

Absolutely Not (taking what you get)!

This is _Your_ Therapy. You call the shots.

 

[risingsun]

is it acceptable to seek out the therapist that I believe can help me the most

Absolutely! You seek out the therapist that will not minimize your concerns, that will support you tough moments and good strides, that will listen with empathy rather than indifference, that will provide you with tools that will assist you in your life, and who will humanize your existence rather than see you as another number on their roster.

I agree with JustBe. You call the shots. This is your mental health and you want the best fit, someone who will make a difference in your everyday, not someone who will traumatize you even further. You are making an investment in yourself. See yourself as worthy of the most optimal care. Best Wishes to You! Rising Sun.

 

[hailstorm]

Thank you so much for your affirmations. I always second guess myself and think that I am the problem instead of I have a problem. I don't want be considered a problem client, but I really need someone that will be able to encourage me and be supportive in my therapy and not try to shut me down when I get over stimulated during trauma therapy. My therapist even told me one time that I am going to make him work. What the??? I guess he just wanted something easy to take care of and he claims to be a diplomate in cbt. I am so afraid that I won't find someone that can help me through my symptoms...rage, nightmares, avoidance, fear, panic, flashbacks...

 

[CoolBlue]

I've been triggered by therapists too. One was personally recommended to me - I guess the recommending person thought I needed a swift kick? It was awful - the counselor argued with me, acted like I wasn't telling the truth (questioned my accounts), etc. I'm not over that one yet. Another recounted a story of something he'd done to his child... it sounded terribly abusive to me (and yep, a trigger). I was so upset that I never went back, and was haunted for months.
My counselor now can be really tough on people, but she is kind and affirming to me (I suspect that she recognizes that I'd flip if she wasn't). But... we're not getting anywhere with the rage, nightmares - those things you mentioned above. Maybe I need to list those things, and work out a plan with her. Good luck finding a helpful solution. Don't settle for less :)

 

[hailstorm]

Thank you for helping me to have the courage to continue to find a suitable therapist. I know that being a therapist must be the most difficult job there is... Having to listen to horror stories all day and trying to help people see the good side of life and I'm sure that they suffer "compassion fatigue." I just have the feeling that I am approaching the end of my life and I really need a therapist that can help sort out what is happening to me.

 

[hailstorm]

I interviewed a new therapist today. I was on pins and needles... Wasn't sure about how the therapist would react to being the one interviewed. When we sat down in her office she immediately turned her computer on and stated that she wanted to have an assessment on me. My heart sunk... I thought here we go again and I almost let her just go ahead, but then I got the courage to tell her that I didn't want to do an assessment but that I wanted to talk with her and let her know what I needed from my therapy. She immediately turned away from her computer and turned toward me and said "sure we can do that." I told her what I needed and she let me know that it was absolutely acceptable for me to ask for the things I needed. Whew! I got threw it with only one episode of uncontrollable crying. She was gently encouraging and let me know that I was grieving since childhood and that she would help me through it. She told me to tell myself that it is bad now, but there is a time where it will get better. She let me know that she would prefer for me to control what we talk about in sessions. At the end of the hour she asked me if I would like to come back to see her. My next appt is in a week. I feel some relief at knowing that someone is going to listen, while being encouraging and supportive. Before I left she gave me her cell number and told me to call if I needed anything.

 

[Hashi]

Good for you, @hailstorm. I imagine that can't have been easy but it sounds like you really stepped up and the therapist's reaction sounds very hopeful too.

 

[JustBe]

well Done @hailstorm ! :tup: You're on your way now!

 

[anthony]

As above... you're the one paying the bill, so you get to choose your therapist, you get to interview them for the job, you get to decide who you believe will help you the most.

 

[hailstorm]

Thank you all for the kind words. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I have hopes that it is there.