Relationship Is It Possible?

[BewitchedBewildered]

I am no longer with my sufferer, but I want to understand something better. The man I was with for almost three years went through periods of depression where he isolated. I know that is fairly common with PTSD, but he also would experience extreme hate/ distrust of people during this time.

I know he will always have PTSD, but is it possible in general, for someone who had this intense distrust of people episodically to ever get to a place when their significant other becomes separate from "them"?

I have found a little bit about this in books, but only a little. It's just mentioned as an additional issue, but not much detail is given. If anyone has any insight on this, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.

 

[rightkindofme]

My husband is like 70% inside the bubble. Not sure if he can ever stop being "them" completely. He's a guy. He's kind of insensitive sometimes. He's autistic and a serious geek. He will never feel totally like me. :) But it is closer than it was.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Totally not one of "them", as you're "in" 24/7/365?

I don't know. I'm not there yet. I go in and out. Sometimes I can trust, other times I trust no one, not even God. Well not so much God anymore, so at least that's a step in the right direction. But I always come back to my core people being trustworthy, even if my trust strays periodically.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Thank you for your input. I really do appreciate it!

 

[Abstract]

Hi Bewitched!

I suspect it varies from person to person and on what their general symptoms are doing. What can change is improvements in how that person manages those feelings or expresses them. For example someone early on in the process may really believe entirely that the person is not trustworthy but hopefully later they would often be able to realise their perception isn't likely to be accurate. Or if they realise they are not able to keep it away from someone else that they find a way to create a buffer. That can help in the way they manage relationships.

On a deeper level I am guessing that as long as there are active PTSD symptoms that there will be times of mistrust of almost anyone as re experiencing means we feel the emotions we had during a past trauma in the present. Especially when present situations trigger danger signals.

 

[rightkindofme]

My friend describes trust as a bucket that you slowly drip water into. When it is mostly empty it is hard to tip the bucket over. When the bucket is very full any movement causes stuff to slop over.

My husband is as close to me as anyone can ever be. But I trust him so much (for me) that it is easy for him to screw up and come up short which makes me angry and distrustful. Sigh. It's a cycle.