Hi, everyone. I haven't posted anything on here for about a year. I had CPTSD and Dissociative Amnesia, and with LOTS of hard work through EMDR, Somatic experiencing and Psychotherapy I am feeling SO much stronger than ever before!
So, now onto my boyfriend. And btw, when they say we are drawn to people who are like us, they aren't kidding are they! :)
Okay, I have been dating this man for the past 6 years and we have had some real ups and downs. This is what triggered me back into therapy in the first place, but that ended up being a good thing.
Anyway, about a year before I met him his best friend died of lung cancer, and my boyfriend sat by his bedside until the very end, feeling no emotions through it all. He was married at the time, and his wife was very unsupportive and asked him "aren't you over this yet?" at one point.
He was in therapy for a while and when they got to the point of talking about this time in his life, he jumped ship. He says he feels emotionally numb all the time, and has said he doesn't know if he can feel love, etc.
When I get angry at him for something, he runs for a day, days or a week or 2. We never resolve conflict. He once said highly emotional moments sends him into a tail spin. He has this pattern then of talking to other women, not physically getting involved with them, but facebook messaging with them.
I thought he was bipolar, then I thought he was Borderline, but none of those really ever fit. I can tell that his numbing is getting worse and worse.
My guess is that when I get upset about something it triggers him. He also has a pretty emotionally cold mom, not abusive, just not overly loving.
I'm kinda wondering if he talks to women because that helps keep those memories at bay, maybe that's his "fix" because of the emotional abandonment from his wife during that traumatic time.
I feel like I am finally making some sense out of all of this. Am I?
So, now onto my boyfriend. And btw, when they say we are drawn to people who are like us, they aren't kidding are they! :)
Okay, I have been dating this man for the past 6 years and we have had some real ups and downs. This is what triggered me back into therapy in the first place, but that ended up being a good thing.
Anyway, about a year before I met him his best friend died of lung cancer, and my boyfriend sat by his bedside until the very end, feeling no emotions through it all. He was married at the time, and his wife was very unsupportive and asked him "aren't you over this yet?" at one point.
He was in therapy for a while and when they got to the point of talking about this time in his life, he jumped ship. He says he feels emotionally numb all the time, and has said he doesn't know if he can feel love, etc.
When I get angry at him for something, he runs for a day, days or a week or 2. We never resolve conflict. He once said highly emotional moments sends him into a tail spin. He has this pattern then of talking to other women, not physically getting involved with them, but facebook messaging with them.
I thought he was bipolar, then I thought he was Borderline, but none of those really ever fit. I can tell that his numbing is getting worse and worse.
My guess is that when I get upset about something it triggers him. He also has a pretty emotionally cold mom, not abusive, just not overly loving.
I'm kinda wondering if he talks to women because that helps keep those memories at bay, maybe that's his "fix" because of the emotional abandonment from his wife during that traumatic time.
I feel like I am finally making some sense out of all of this. Am I?
