therapybankrupt
Diamond Member
I am pleased to say I made it through 32 years of domestic violence. I am entering a new chapter of understanding. I was so wrapped up all the years in the alcoholism as the reason why my ex acted the way he did. When times were good they were so good. When they were bad I could never make sense of any of it. I did not even know I was developing stockholm syndrome. The marriage from the outside presented an illusion of being perfect.
I never knew there were people who had personality disorders. I always believed in all human beings. I thought everyone had the capacity to love. I always covered and tried to keep up the perfect life. That kept him content for short periods of time. It was getting to bed a 3:00 am for many years. Working myself to the bone and managing several jobs,college and raising two beautiful children.
My light was fading and the 24th year I broke. I planned and left the marriage with a intervention from a longtime and a new friend. My young adult children also suffering from stockholm syndrome refused to see me. I was in and out of the hospital for two years. I did not have the will to go on. It wasn't until they were going to put me away for 6 months did I snap out of it.
I moved out of town and started over. I was still suffering lots of pain and was not treated for the proper disorder I was suffering from for 4 years. I now have a proper diagnosis and understand why I was a good target for the ex. I am now doing weekly therapy for the trauma from the long term abuse.
I still deal with the ex for court ordered payments. His emails are abusive and he still tries to control me by not paying on time. This is coming to an end! To make a long awful story short I am going to get him out of my life so I can move on. I have contacted help from the county I live in. I have a safety plan going in motion. I hope within the next few months I can be free to finally heal.
No more illusions for me I want to be my authentic self.
I never knew there were people who had personality disorders. I always believed in all human beings. I thought everyone had the capacity to love. I always covered and tried to keep up the perfect life. That kept him content for short periods of time. It was getting to bed a 3:00 am for many years. Working myself to the bone and managing several jobs,college and raising two beautiful children.
My light was fading and the 24th year I broke. I planned and left the marriage with a intervention from a longtime and a new friend. My young adult children also suffering from stockholm syndrome refused to see me. I was in and out of the hospital for two years. I did not have the will to go on. It wasn't until they were going to put me away for 6 months did I snap out of it.
I moved out of town and started over. I was still suffering lots of pain and was not treated for the proper disorder I was suffering from for 4 years. I now have a proper diagnosis and understand why I was a good target for the ex. I am now doing weekly therapy for the trauma from the long term abuse.
I still deal with the ex for court ordered payments. His emails are abusive and he still tries to control me by not paying on time. This is coming to an end! To make a long awful story short I am going to get him out of my life so I can move on. I have contacted help from the county I live in. I have a safety plan going in motion. I hope within the next few months I can be free to finally heal.
No more illusions for me I want to be my authentic self.
