Just Joking

[Tinyflame]

When a man has lipstick on him you know he has been kissed. When a woman has lipstick on you know she hasn't.

Why are single women thinner than married ones? Because a single woman comes home from work, looks in the fridge and goes to bed. A married woman looks in the bed and goes to the fridge.

(Sorry guys! )

 

[Tinyflame]

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.

 

[LuckiLee]

What kind of pants does a ghost hunter wear?

Just a paranormal pants.

 

[Rose White]

How can you tell when a psychologist is mad?
Therapist.

 

[Freddyt]

Receptionist to psychologist: "Doctor, there's a patient here who thinks he's invisible."

"Tell him I can't see him right now."

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Why did the tomato go out with the prune? He couldn't get a date.

 

[shimmerz]

Dad says to daughter "Julie, why are you staring at the orange juice bottle?" Julie says "Because it says concentrate,Dad."

 

[Freddyt]

Why is psychotherapy a lot quicker for men than for women?

Because when it comes to going back to childhood, men are already there.


"After 12 years of therapy, my psychotherapist said something that brought tears to my eyes."

"What did he say?"

""No hablo inglés.""

 

[Freddyt]

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there, send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here, or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"