Limerence

[NIKI]

I am feeling traumatized by a limerence episode that has lasted now exactly 1 year long. I know what limerence is and understand quite a bit about why I am experiencing this, but I cannot stop! I am too embarrassed to write anymore at the moment, but I very much want to talk to someone about this, but I absolutely cannot talk to anyone in my real life about it not even my best friend who knows my limerent object!

Does anyone have any advice on help to overcome a limerence episode?

 

[Resilientbibliophile]

Greetings...

Not sure if it will strictly help, but within the last week I'd finished reading sort of a rewrite and elaboration on Dorthy Tennov's Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love from 1979 titled Smitten: Romantic obsession, the neuroscience of limerence, and how to make love last by Tom Bellamy and published in 2025.

The D. Tennov title was a welcome surprise and relief when personally tripped across years ago, whereas the further elaboration with better data and more throughgoing analysis of the dynamic across the Bellamy title is worthwhile and something literally on bookstore shelves now. In the near term and more attuned to reaching for easily accessible tools, Tom Bellamy also has a content-rich website that featured more material than is usual for something just promoting a book title. Below I've pasted in something very specific from the site, but much else is accessible there:

How to get rid of limerence - Living with Limerence

Note: This is an old post that lays out a few tactics for how to get rid of limerence. I've now written a much more comprehensive recovery plan here: Overcoming limerence For all its promise of ecstasy, limerence can be an oppressive and disruptive force in life. Most often, it is when limerence...

livingwithlimerence.com

Kind of mixed on the Bellamy book content across the last third of it given it becomes repetitive and wishy washy, although the first two-thirds of the work is strong and helps frame and deactivate things as (very much) required. Past academic librarian here, advising you peruse the Bellamy website first and try to ease the tension felt by degree, then maybe grab his book to read until the content just starts to fade away in terms of direct relevance, and later - should curiosity exist to explore such, seek out the D. Tennov title which was pathfinding and helpful here.