List Your Joke, Funny Caption To Brighten Ptsd

[angel2write]

(laughing) That was a good one, yzeal. I was actually trying to figure out if a real silver dollar was lighter, and thus easier to skip, than the current ones... and then the punch line caught up with me. :rolleyes:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

That was a good one and told perfectly. LOL:roflmao:

 

[missmary]

Dude. That camping trip.....was in tents!

 

[piratelady]

:hilarious: Missmary I love that joke!!!

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

Where's pop corn!

I love corny jokes :D

 

[missmary]

Corny jokes are my fave!!! :)

So these two muffins are sitting in a microwave. One of the muffins looks at the other muffin and says, "Boy, is it just me or is it getting HOT in here???" and the other muffin replies, "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

 

[missmary]

So this pirate walks into this bar right. And he has a steering wheel hanging out of his pants. The bartender comes over and asks the pirate if he'd like a drink, and the pirate nods, so the bartender goes and gets him his drink. Comes back and hands the drink to the pirate. He looks the pirate up and down tapping his chin inquisitively and says, "hey...so um...what's uh, going on with that there steering wheel hangin out of your pants there?..." And the pirate goes, "ARRRR! It's DRIVIN' me NUTS!!" ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

[piratelady]

Why wouldn't the Energizer Bunny come out of the bathroom?

Because he kept goin! and goin! and goin!

 

[KP the nut]

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

 

[KP the nut]

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

 

[KP the nut]

One day a guy was driving with his four-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!"

 

[KP the nut]

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

 

[KP the nut]

The Ring Bearer"
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."