Loneliness

[Trinomial]

I think everyone is lonely to some degree. After all, no one knows what we experience, feel, or think in the way that we do. It is okay to feel lonely, but know that you are not truly alone. We all co-exist in this chaos called life, making decisions, taking or displacing responsibility, expressing ourselves in whatever way we know how.

Sometimes, I get the impression that the only thing we all share is this feeling of loneliness. I feel that there is a silent understanding there.

Anyway, don't let it get you down. Let it remind you that you are unique in how you experience the world. And every so often, you will find others who can share feelings and thoughts, similar to your own--take it when you can get it, and cherish it--it will keep your spirits up for the next genuine encounter you have.

At least, that is what I keep telling myself. I feel lonely when I am around people. I feel more comfortable when I am alone. There is no one to misunderstand me, place expectations on me, or need me.

I do my best not to let it get me down, but lately I miss being by myself. There is such a huge difference between loneliness and aloneness.

 

[bluerosa]

So well said ....genuine encounters are few and far between, sometimes even between our most loved ones. Let us not take those moments for advantage. They should be cherished and encouraged to grow! I like this post very much.

 

[anni]

I only get lonely when I feel exhausted about having to explain 'all this', so do not. I just had this conversation with another member last night, where part of the reason the forum is so helpful is that you're not just speaking to other people, you're speaking to others who already are filled in on the first 4 paragraphs of the conversation both ways. The disclaimers and reassurances are inherant just by virtue of being here in the first place. Funny, I hadn't examined this subject until I read this but I haven't been lonely much lately. I am lucky enough to have a husband whose physical and emotional presence precludes this but being here I must say is a ton of rich, creamy icing on the cake, to be sure. I'm knocked 6 ways sideways at the moment, the pain is wrapped up in PTSD associated stressors which are possibly making me crazy, although yes, I am aware I sound contained as hell. It's how I cope, the whole containment thing. Lonely isn't something I need to add to the mix, thank you God and forum.

At any rate, yes, if not being lonely is finding others with common experiences- genuine encounters to cherish, well, we're here, that's all.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear anni,
I so much agree with the 1st 4 paragraphs and diclaimers etc analogy, it is exhausting to even think of it, and I think 'thinking' so differently sometimes cannot but bring to mind a certain feeling it's all-too-impossible to even try to explain or understood, or be tolerated.
I'm sorry you are having so much pain- you are doing great because that is terribly energy-sapping.
-++ Hugs-

 

[Tinyflame]

"Understand" is what I meant anni- but I know you 'knew' and why I can't find the words/ thoughts this morning, lol :rolleyes:

 

[anni]

Oh, I do, my dear. In point of fact, I'm logged on here way too long tonight for this entire reason Yes, the pain is so energy sapping, typing is awful but there are some other things going on in the wider family circle which are compounding stress. You can come here instead of going off alone and spinning that stupid PTSD loop- it's unstoppable, alone. My husband is superb, to be sure. I have an awful lot of guilt going through these things with him when I know he can't quite 'get it'. One comes here and it's do-able, for the moment. That makes the next moment more do-able, for me.

I have to go get ready for some dreadful test tomorrow, but can go about it now more contained, controlled and peaceful than if I were not able to have gotten myself somewhat in order by being here this evening. it's something.

Much hugs to you- and thank you, :)

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear anni- will be thinking about y ou tomorrow, (and now), sending hugs and prayers.-
-xox

 

[Tinyflame]

P.S- Hope you can have Sweet Dreams-

 

[Trinomial]

I guess part of what bothers me is that when I share things, people want to assert their opinions and emotions into my pain. I only share these things with people I trust and I don't like that reaction. Sometimes I just want someone to listen and nod, and allow me to be vulnerable and express my feelings--without them involving their own feelings. I don't like sympathy or pity and I definitely do not like anger.

I can't even tell you how frustrated I feel when people tell me they hate my mom when I tell them what she did to me--I don't even hate her and I feel like, it's not their place to say that or feel that way. It's bad enough that I don't fully feel the pain and anger I am in, but when other people take that from me, I just feel violated.

Other times, I just try to relate and I don't. Then I am left feeling lonely. Sometimes I get a feel from someone, that they are open, and I go with it--and I usually am not disappointed. I can talk about anything with certain people. But most people leave me with this feeling of disatisfaction, like I am better off just keeping to myself.

Part of my problem, is I went from a very bad situation (or series of bad situations) to finally getting away from the abuse and mistreatment. I spent 90% of my waking life alone, just dealing with the bad situations. Then I got married, moved in with him, and I with him 24/7. I love him, but I feel it's unhealthy to be around anyone 24/7--doubly so for someone introverted and used to being alone, like me.