Sufferer Losing Time And Re-experiencing Events Again

[Unstabletime]

Muse, my current doctor and therapist, are one of the first to really tell that its a neurological phenomenon. That seemed good.

They got to the point that it was the way how my brain handles its memory that could give the experience I got. Mainly that it goes through a routine of basing what I see be something that was already stored in my memory. What I mean is, I can't experience new things. Yet I can experience old things. The new things are blocked away due to how my memory seem to work. This makes me even more sensitive to similar events that were hurtful. As I am more easily triggered.

I got this forum to have someone listen to me, and I got some other person I met that had intrusive flashbacks and told how to deal with that. I may have to understand that those intrusive flashbacks are different from what I experience. Yet this person no longer had those flashbacks when having a new girlfriend. This makes me think that I may need a friend to share these things. And somehow find a way to cope with it. Or just having someone that is respectful and willing to listen what is troublesome.

I like to update about the current occurences with the doctor. Both doctor and therapist have been in a talk the coming time, and speak about how to deal with the triggers that I got. The thing I recognized by the previous visit to my doctor was that I get triggered by similar events that were similarly bad as those of work. And this experience causes me to dissociate back to the experience I had with work.

Now I have to see what the doctor and therapist have come up, on how to cope with these triggers. It's stressful that I do not know so much about my triggers, and after a day full of triggers I had no idea of, I would suddenly on waking up, be several months to a year back in the old situation again. That hurts, and I get not a good feeling of having to re-do everything.

I also miss who I was. When I was really months to years away. The things I already achieved all the way there. All were gone at that time I was back at the start again. I like to know what can prevent those horrible moments. It doesn't feel good to be back in the old situation again.

I am curious what the doctors will say. That is what I can look out to.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Powder]

Yes, Unstabletime,
I think having a caring person to love you for you who really are and to be there to listen to you can help to strengthen you and give you someone to love besides just yourself. :)

I hope your doctors find a medicine to help you to feel safe from the flashbacks. Living in fear of further flashbacks is not good.

I also hope you feel strong again and find good work.

 

[Unstabletime]

I have an update. I went to the therapy, and we spoke about the situation. Trying to get back to the events that played out which did not feel good to me. We managed to get to a key point to work from. Due to my feeling of being inferior to other people, and how I take conclusions about a person when I see them, the doctors could see how EMDR treatment could be wise in this situation.
I don't know what to think of it, as I like to get the re-experiences out of the way. Perhaps the EMDR is the required treatment to get access to other things.

For me both feelings of being inferior to other people and having conclusions about a person are not something that I can say is reason for my re-experiences. Just something else. Yet I don't know what. I only know that when I don't know what causes those repeats, I will experience those re-experiences as a repeat, until I get the chance to know it.