Loss of therapist and pdoc

[Ecdysis]

So, amidst getting re-traumatised, job loss, relationship breakup, health problems, deaths of loved ones and a slew of other difficult life events, the therapist I had been seeing for 17 years retired and my pdoc shifted to work in a different capacity. I'd been seeing him for the same amount of time. Pdoc and therapist were good friends - they'd studied together at uni and it was my pdoc that recommended my therapist to me.

Both were genuinely lovely human beings who would go above and beyond to help and who were great at dealing with C-PTSD and all that goes with it.

I miss them both a lot.

I've tried to be sensible about them leaving and I think I dealt with my therapist's departure better because that was planned and I had time to adjust to it. My pdoc's job change was very sudden. One time, when I went back to his office, he just wasn't there any more.

I started seeing them both in my mid-20s at the beginning of my trauma therapy journey and as I cut basically all ties with my family of origin, my therapist and pdoc were like substitue parents to me and they watched me recover from childhood trauma and to grow and progress.

It was a real struggle to find a new therapist... I thought I'd found one but it fell through, then with Covid, waiting lists skyrocketed... So it's taken me nearly 3 years to find an adequate "replacement".

I've got a fairly decent new pdoc too, tho by far no comparison to my old pdoc who was a legend and dearly loved by all his patients for being amazing.

I think with all the other losses I've been going through, I've been pretty much numbed to the loss of this therapist and pdoc... I've just been trying to function and survive and to keep going somehow...

But I think them being gone has really removed this sense of a "safety net" that I always had previously. And this sense of substitute family, that they were for me.

I think it's part of why I'm struggling and why I feel lost.

 

[Sideways]

The times I’ve had a change of Ts forced on me (rather than times where it’s been my choice) have been incredibly stressful.

My personal tip? Don’t try to replace them. You can’t. They’re as unique as you and me.

The next T that you mesh with is very likely to offer something very different to your previous Ts. That’s not just okay, it can be really helpful for recovery. Personally, I’ve had a range of different types of Ts, with all wildly different approaches, and I’ve very definitely benefited from that diversity.

It’s a difficult time. But you will find the right person to write the next chapter of your recovery with. And alongside the grief and distress of losing such impressive people in your life, that’s something you can also feel excited about.