Lost in the dark

[Theasylumsystem]

I'm so torn between two big hurts tonight. My neighbor said my bio mom came to see me to give me mail, but I wasn't home (thankfully). So it's brought up all the feelings of panic and paranoia, and bad memories. I also can't stop messaging him. I know he doesn't give a single f*ck about me but I still talk to him. It's just like another way to hurt myself all over again. I'm having a rough night...

 

[parrotthepolly]

If you did get the mail, might as well look on the bright side, you dodged a bullet!

 

[PamelaS]

I'm so torn between two big hurts tonight. My neighbor said my bio mom came to see me to give me mail, but I wasn't home (thankfully). So it's brought up all the feelings of panic and paranoia, and bad memories. I also can't stop messaging him. I know he doesn't give a single f*ck about me but I still talk to him. It's just like another way to hurt myself all over again. I'm having a rough night...

Sorry for your rough day/night. Glad you reached out here. It’s always good to have someone to share with who gets it. We all do.
even though you dodged a bullet, you still got triggered. Probably not as badly as you would have if you would’ve been confronted by them. I always try to see something positive in my situation and try to focus on that in order to move forward. Celebrate the wins. Enjoy what you can, endure what you must. Take your time. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Susan Jane]

I'm so torn between two big hurts tonight. My neighbor said my bio mom came to see me to give me mail, but I wasn't home (thankfully). So it's brought up all the feelings of panic and paranoia, and bad memories. I also can't stop messaging him. I know he doesn't give a single f*ck about me but I still talk to him. It's just like another way to hurt myself all over again. I'm having a rough night...

I understand I have this as well…the pain feels like it’s going to kill me. I want to live without it and I don’t know how…Exhausting . Sending solidarity …