Lucky Strike's the devils brand

[B.Fish]

The last few days i have found myself listening to the same song over and over to the points it is beginning to scare me. It is not the first time i have done this but this time something more surreal is at work. I feel a darkness creeping in that's taking over and i can not seem to shake it. I know it should be as simple as just stop playing it but the emotion it brings out seems to have me trapped. I am at the point that the song is stuck in my mind even when its not being played. I have read the copyright thread so i know i can not mention the song and understand its for the best as it is a doozy and a heavy trigger. I will say at the end of the song you can hear a shotgun blast and then silence followed by phone ringing over and over never to be picked up or answered. The phone ringing over and over at the end of the song is a trigger that brings on so much darkness more than any other song i have ever listened to.

Its been about 18 years since i had to listen to the phone ring over and over. After the second day and still phone rings i find myself going to the source of the ringing phone only to see why it was not answered. Since that day my life has been such a mess like i have a four year curse once i get back on track it all falls apart again. But this year 3 once again and the fourth is soon to be on the way. The last curse was the death of my brother 3 years ago after he was crushed to death from an building explosion where he was working.

Then just a couple months ago i injured my middle finger at work causing me to wear a splint 24/7 for a couple months. The finger splint has now become a trigger as it reminds me how cruel our world and people are. Knowing my brother endured a senseless death that could have been avoided if not for the greed of corporations. And then seeing how exactly out legal system works (workmans comp is like a get out of jail free card for employers)and because of it there will be no justice my brothers death. And now i am also dealing with a company that wants to avoid extra bills or paying workmans comp so having to play there silly game. Rather than just give me some down time, i still have to come into work (light duty) to tear pieces of paper in half for 8 hours a day not even a real job or something that needs to be done. So after a week of that torture i found a different type of splint that will allow me to get back to work. But of course that's not good enough for some people to continue working even after getting injured. A couple people i used to get along with at work have completely turned on me thinking i am not performing up to "their" standards. Thing is i have always been a hard worker and give 110% but now that i am only giving 100% i am getting dissed. I still work harder than most people where i work it it all just seems so disrespectful and insensitive . Something a simple as taking 1 or 2 minutes every hour and a half to go remove the brace and dry it and my finger off to avoid chafing has become an issue.

I should note that i would never bring harm to another person and this is all just severe depression i am dealing with. But it is just so much darker than ever before. I think it is going to cost me my job and security safe place and to be honest i have no idea how i have not been homeless and living on the streets before now but the four year curse is coming soon. Wish in a way i could mention that song but at the same time i understand it nothing anyone with conditions should listen to but yup i'm a glutton for punishment.

 

[Ronin]

Hey B.

That's not how copyright law or site policies regarding that law work though... you are totally free to mention a name of a song, even link to it, and in limited amount use its lyrics with clear credit to the original and citation where due provided.

Aka not doing bad by talking about it. ;)

I'm sorry about the death of your brother and that things pile up every few years and it makes you look over your shoulder constantly and think you're cursed.

Also sorry work stress seems to bring the past back so bad and current injury just blows. But you'll heal, things will get less painful and hectic, give em time?

Kudos on figuring out how to help yourself and still keep up with work pressure, that's quite dedicated of you.

I think people at work would still miss you, they haven't shunned you, it's just the darn season stressful on everyone and depression magnifying reactions and making their looks seem big... but that ain't you wrong, or being hated.

 

[B.Fish]

Hey B.

That's not how copyright law or site policies regarding that law work though... you are totally free to mention a name of a song, even link to it, and in limited amount use its lyrics with clear credit to the original and citation where due provided.

Aka not doing bad by talking about it. ;)

I'm sorry about the death of your brother and that things pile up every few years and it makes you look over your shoulder constantly and think you're cursed.

Also sorry work stress seems to bring the past back so bad and current injury just blows. But you'll heal, things will get less painful and hectic, give em time?

Kudos on figuring out how to help yourself and still keep up with work pressure, that's quite dedicated of you.

I think people at work would still miss you, they haven't shunned you, it's just the darn season stressful on everyone and depression magnifying reactions and making their looks seem big... but that ain't you wrong, or being hated.

Thanks for the reply i was not sure how copyright laws or forum policy to this site work. Anyways i know and understand the stigmata that gets placed on some songs and artists and thought maybe it is best not to mention names. Many artists find themselves getting attacked and or taking verbal abuse because others need to blame something they fully don't understand. When what they are doing is expressing their own personal feelings and at times can become very powerful energy. They create something that can be very dark yet beautiful from there own inner turmoil and next thing they are taking heat for something they might be trying to cope with themselves.

The word diss was not a typo i was using it short for dissing so yeah getting shunned is pretty much what i have been dealing with. It is really so stupid how some people always need to have a problem with someone or something even when it can not be avoided. As is i have seen others end up getting in trouble or fired from the drama/head games they make up. Only thing is i am not like the others and am not dumb or slacky enough to fall for most of their tricks. But they still make my job a lot harder than it needs/should be and have me feeling like i am walking around with a target on my back. But then again that is what's become of the american factory worker. Now a days corporations just want head counts and have no problem with high turnover rates from poor conditions. Think they might get tax breaks or something when it shows they have hired 600+ workers each year as they can not keep any or seem to want to.

 

[Ronin]

Yeah I hear that, giving artists hell for just doing the work and creating controversies can get annoying. On another hand also good and not needed be paid advertising. ;) So it's def good you care and care so much, just wouldn't worry to the point you feel you can't talk your life, yanno?

And yeah, some haters just gonna hate. I think in some conditions, the best f*ck you IS keep going, and take good care of you.

The kinda strength they can't touch, much less take. Surface scratches and a few months down are zilch, in the long run... and it's the long run that matters, not the dissing ingrates that don't even have enough brains to take their issue up with you straight and straighten themselves out. Not your job to be doing it for them, nor are they worth losing anything valuable for. Much less the most valuable, your life.