Making Things Worse?

[jacx]

Hi,

I've been noticing a troubling trend in my thinking, which is basically that, in my mind, I make negative events much worse than they really are. For example, if someone gets mad at me, I believe that they will hate me forever and basically stop interacting with them. If someone says something in an angry tone of voice, I think that they're yelling at me, etc.

Does anyone have a technique for dealing with these kinds of distortions? It's really damaging my relationships. I feel like the only way that I can keep friends is to be perfect all the time and I get really stressed out over every small mistake or poorly-received word. I don't want to go on like this.

Thank you very much.

 

[Ronin]

Catastrophizing.

Okay, what about thinking of other options? Making black & white shades of grey? Asking yourself 'can there be another explanation for this situation / this person's behavior', for starters? Or: 'What else can this mean?'

You don't have to be perfect. Just be. You're you, good as you are. Issues in relationships happen, they're there to be worked through, they're not about you being damaged.

 

[marx]

When I was younger I felt the same, even up until I was in my late thirties. People would invite me to do something and I would always decline. It took me 15 years to accept an invitation from my neighbours just to have a simple mix drink. People say things that aren't necessarily what they seem. It may seem dismissive, off putting or just arrogant. Just take a moment to let it digest,maybe it was said out of humor or trying to make you feel comfortable. By an large its harmless, but keep in mind most people don't understand ptsd and don't understand that our reaction might be totally different. Remember people like you for who you are,or they wouldn't be hanging with you. Next time try saying something corny or just say in not sure how to take that or in not sure what you mean by that. Smile god loves you

 

[Panda Bear]

Fear....facing my fears and being vulnerable. Accepting that we don't have to immediately end up in a place of shame, fear and be ravaged by what we learned as a means to cope with what hurt us.

Example: 20 phone call with my mom set off a whirlwind of shame, protection and fear. I ended up being 10, and huddled into a ball. Right, it's pretty to think about. Fast forward, I've encountered a mom at sons Scout pack, she makes me upset. I can't be "good enough" to escape her negative rath. She herself is a negative person who can't be pleased(like my mom) and I found myself jumping to appease her disapproval. I was afraid she wouldn't like me! Why? She isn't even nice to around! I wanted to be liked and was afraid she'd hate me.....

Fear....it's all my ingrained fear that others disapproval of me will result in something hurtful. Physical, emotional, abuse and pain. Fear.....I had to face my fears and their is a lot of them!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Hi,

I've been noticing a troubling trend in my thinking, which is basically that, in my mind, I make negat...

Risin' Strong by Brene Brown would be a good read for you. Here's one review i found about it: https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/brene-brown-1/rising-strong/

Its a book Im getting for Christmas and the stories we make up in our end if someone looks at us funny or something, it teaches you how to examine that and how to learn if its true, half true, or not true at all. Just a thought :) and yes I do it all the time. My therapist says he really likes her and her books are right on.