Tim McDonough
Bronze Member
I am a Veteran with PTSD who is still on active duty, for a long time I was able to live silently with this demon inside me. I got Bailey my German Shepherd about two years ago. She was 6 weeks old when I went to the breeder 4 times to help wean her from her mother. . I trained her on my own or should I say she trained me on her own. She has her K-9 good citizen and has been to the Nations Capital. She was even with me thru my last surgery. All the way to the OR doors and was allowed to be there as soon as I woke from anestesia. I got combative and they put her on the bed, When i saw those beautiful Brown Eyes she told me it was all gonna be ok she would watch and keep me safe just rest. Amazingly my blood pressure and heart rate dropped into normal levels almost instantly.She and I are always together,the only place she dont go (yet) is to work I was always afraid the jet noise would be to much for her. I am on desk duty now so I am working to be able to bring her with me daily. Military red tape sucks. We have 8 kids hers mine and ours combined- 5 live with us full time. 5 girls and 3 boys from 18-to 3 (as if that aint enough to drive a man crazy LOL) My wife breeds pugs- we have 3 here full time and 2 Germna Shepherds
My Dad a Vietnam vet took his own life back in 1992 guess I still havent dealt real good with that. Mom passed in 2000- I was doing weapons loads for Kosovo hits when she died. 36 hrs later I was home at her funeral. I had my alive day back in 2005 that same year a good buddy of mine lost his son to an IED atttack. He told me the ultimate price to pay isnt dying for your country Its letting one of your kids do it. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression on top of my Orthopedic issues.
I love my service Dog. Before Bailey I was a very unpleasant person. I was always hyper alert, hyper vigilant.The night terrors wouldnt stop. Sleep came in 2 and 3 hour power naps, if at all. I dont like being around people. I once made the mistake of going to a Long Island Fourth of July Party at my Uncles house and almost had a psychotic break, Half way thru the night I was in the bathroom praying the noise would stop, In my mind I was in Balad it was bad. Soon all I did was I went from work to home and that was it. I gave up flying as a crew member hiding behind getting custody of my sons as my reason to turn in my wings ( damn I worked so hard to get those)
So to keep me gainfully employed they made me the squadron Deployment manager- The only thing worse then going to war is sending your friends- I was so terrified I'd be at fault if I lost one on my watch. I was so involved in helping Guys families while they were gone my Commander told me I cared to much- Imagine that (rat bastard)
Due to orthopedic issues associated with my time over there and my Mental health issues I'm getting Med boarded soon. The stress was to great and I almost had an episode (panic attack they tell me) on the job a few weeks back. let me explain: I work now in tool crib and its nothing more then a big cage-some smartass (who probably didnt realize it) thought it was funny to close the sliding door with me in there. I went from zero to 80 in .02 seconds- Cage door about came off the steel hinges and I threw an office chair across the hangar floor.
Thank God the Chief and I are friends otherwise it wouldnt have went so well for me. I sit now waiting to be Medically retired how long it will take is anyones guess. I keep going to therapy taking my meds and trying. God my Wife my Kids and my K-9- Thanks for taking the time to read sorry if I kept jumping around Take care and God Bless
Tim and Bailey
My Dad a Vietnam vet took his own life back in 1992 guess I still havent dealt real good with that. Mom passed in 2000- I was doing weapons loads for Kosovo hits when she died. 36 hrs later I was home at her funeral. I had my alive day back in 2005 that same year a good buddy of mine lost his son to an IED atttack. He told me the ultimate price to pay isnt dying for your country Its letting one of your kids do it. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression on top of my Orthopedic issues.
I love my service Dog. Before Bailey I was a very unpleasant person. I was always hyper alert, hyper vigilant.The night terrors wouldnt stop. Sleep came in 2 and 3 hour power naps, if at all. I dont like being around people. I once made the mistake of going to a Long Island Fourth of July Party at my Uncles house and almost had a psychotic break, Half way thru the night I was in the bathroom praying the noise would stop, In my mind I was in Balad it was bad. Soon all I did was I went from work to home and that was it. I gave up flying as a crew member hiding behind getting custody of my sons as my reason to turn in my wings ( damn I worked so hard to get those)
So to keep me gainfully employed they made me the squadron Deployment manager- The only thing worse then going to war is sending your friends- I was so terrified I'd be at fault if I lost one on my watch. I was so involved in helping Guys families while they were gone my Commander told me I cared to much- Imagine that (rat bastard)
Due to orthopedic issues associated with my time over there and my Mental health issues I'm getting Med boarded soon. The stress was to great and I almost had an episode (panic attack they tell me) on the job a few weeks back. let me explain: I work now in tool crib and its nothing more then a big cage-some smartass (who probably didnt realize it) thought it was funny to close the sliding door with me in there. I went from zero to 80 in .02 seconds- Cage door about came off the steel hinges and I threw an office chair across the hangar floor.
Thank God the Chief and I are friends otherwise it wouldnt have went so well for me. I sit now waiting to be Medically retired how long it will take is anyones guess. I keep going to therapy taking my meds and trying. God my Wife my Kids and my K-9- Thanks for taking the time to read sorry if I kept jumping around Take care and God Bless
Tim and Bailey
