General Me & My Partner

[spike1980]

Hi,

This is my first post on this forum since my partner asked me to find out more about ptsd.

Me and my partner have been together of 6 years and she suffers from ptsd. She is currently getting help via the hospital and has been for around 4 years. She never wants to go out as this brings on panic attacks.

She wants me to help her but doesn't know how and i do not know what to do. I try my best to help her by talking when she wants and she knows i am there for her whenever she needs it.

Anyone with any ideas of how i can help?

 

[Ursa]

There are lots of good information on this site. Read and this might help you with some of the things you need. Lots of good people are always here answering questions also.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi spike, welcome.

That's very admirable to have stuck things out as I am sure it hasn't always been anywhere near easy, and to try to help her.

Have you asked her in what way (specifically, but not confrontationally) "how" exactly she hopes you will help? -For example, drive her to the Hospital? -Maybe she can identify ways and verbalize them. At least it might start her thinking of concrete ways she would appreciate your help.
-But take care of yourself, too.

Keep reading, and I'm sure other posts here will help you, too.

Best wishes to you both.

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome to the forum Spike.

Help can encompass such a huge array of things. I agree with what others have said in asking your partner to tell you what she wants help with. If she can't be specific start with big general questions like "do you want help in feeling safe so you can go out?" or "can I help by doing anything differently?". Another option is to ask her to tell you the things you do which already help her as that may point you in the right direction.

 

[amethist]

Hello Spike.

I know where you are coming from with this. My husband has this problem along with all the other bits, and we have just managed to get him to go to a few places that are very close to home. It has taken a few month but we started with very small steps, like sitting wth the back door open and then going out nto the back garden where no one could see him. We call the feelings of panic he gets, a badly set alarm clock which needs resetting. This was the therapist explanation to him, he can relate to this so it helps some of the time.

There are still days when he won't even open the door but it's the baby steps that help.

The smaller the steps the easier to take them.

Hope this helps you and your wife, Start at the very beginning and take every thing very slowly with no pressure. If it can't be done tody then maybe tomorrow, set no time limits and take every thing she do'es as a success no matter how small.

You will get there it just takes time, patience and a lot of support.

Good luck and look after yourselves

Amethist