Memory Lost One Moment To The Next

[Iamsensative]

Hi all,

Hope maybe you can assist. I am 51 and have been in therapy, I think 5 yrs. I have gotten better, was so depressed and overwhelmed with anxiety, I couldn't work. My problems is that most therapy sessions, I cannot retain one session to the next. Pieces, positive words, my therapist voice. But I can't retain, a memory comes back in make a connection. Then it's gone, sometimes not even enough time to write in a journal if I can write. Sometimes it's as if I am frozen and can't even write. I know it holds me back, there is no clear narrative of the past, jumbled nightmares. I spent years suppressing, until my world I knew fell apart. I was numb to everthing, I have raised to wonderful sons, been with my partner 25yrs. I not an awful person, I just want to find away through this maze in my mind. Resolve and move on. Any thoughts would be helpful. Thanks

 

[LanaD]

Maybe this means that you're getting to the root of your problem. I started forgetting things from therapy (and forgetting other things, too) and at one point my mind would just turn off when my therapist was speaking. I told them about this and the conclusion was that we were getting close to the root of the problem and my body/mind was defending myself.

 

[VioletButterfly]

You mentioned that your depression and anxiety have improved and that is a good thing, but I'm wondering if you still have some residual anxiety in play as you mentioned freezing up and not being able to concentrate/remember or journal. I have very high anxiety and I know it interferes with my ability to remember and it absolutely shuts down my journaling. I feel disconnected a lot. Like, "Who is this person?" I tend to zone out sometimes as well, especially when I was in therapy - it was almost like dissociating. I like what @LanaD said about this perhaps being part of the healing process. I'd like to hang onto that. VB