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Sufferer Moving on from an abusive relationship - Its been years and I am still not okay

Hi, So it seems I should do an introduction. Back in 2017 I left my daughter's dad. He was what I call "mean" to us. He did not care if she didnt have diapers and would constantly boss me around. He told me all the time he owned me bc I was his childs mother....It went on for years. The abuse started immediately after the birth of my daughter. I still have flashbacks of 3 days out of the hospital and how I was not even given the time to heal. Ultimately, when my daughter was about 2, I ran away. I put clothes in a grocery bag...stopped at his work bc I need the CC for diapers...and I left. He has tried to contact me once but it was 2 months after I left. He has not been able to be found by law enforcement, child support, or anyone else I have asked over the years. I thought I was finally doing better. In 2020, I began college classes (4 classes left to graduate, woohoo). I had remained single for many years. It was not until about a year and half ago that I met my current boyfriend. It has been rocky. He is good to me. It causes me to be on edge all the time. He has been there though for me. From severe suicidal thoughts and hospitals to me taking a different narcissistic ex back and leaving him for a month. I had a cat, he was my emotional support pet. However, Pumpkins Bobbie was put down March 24, a month ago today, for a bladder obstruction. Ironically, my sister had his brother and one week later she had to do the same for Alfredos. I have been in IOP and gone to NA and AA meetings. I do find connections to be important. I recently left my stay-at-home job because it causes me to over isolate. I like to do artwork. However, I cannot draw. I mostly color with pens, markers, and pencils. And just completed my 1st diamond art portrait a few days ago. I live alone with my daughter. And in a month, we are moving to a new place that has a washer and dryer. I am excited to have that in my home and no more quarters or using the portable washer and hang drying clothes.... but I am also stressed about it bc it's a lot of money. Anyways, I also ramble a lot. Forgive me for the bad grammar. I do try. I am sure some of this stuff will also be mentioned in other threads once I get done exploring this website.
Welcome to the forum! I am sorry that you are in need of help due to your trauma. You have found an amazing resource where you are not alone.

There is much to take in and learn from in the articles that are shared. I hope that you find help like I have while here.
Hello @ThatOneGirl8686, welcome to our community!

Navigating a forum can be overwhelming at first, but it's a great way to connect with others who share your experiences and concerns. I suggest familiarizing yourself with the different sections of the forum and reading through some of the existing posts. This can help you get a sense of what others have shared and maybe even help you feel more connected.

Remember, you don't have to go through this alone. Our members are here to provide you with support, encouragement, and a friendly ear to listen. We have a variety of sections that may be helpful to you, including a section for general support and a section for specific types of trauma.

In closing, we want you to feel like you've found a welcoming space. Remember, the community is here to support you, and we're excited to see you grow and thrive with us. Additionally, our forums are a great place to ask questions and connect with others who share your interests and concerns. So don't be shy - post away!
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Thank you everyone for the kind replies. It is a lot to take in but it looks for a good place for me to start online. I do have a therapist. I was seeing the therapist at my college for 3 years and I really enjoy her. However, next week I’ll be starting with a new therapist so does more than just “talk therapy.” Hoping to really dig deeper. I have repressed most of my childhood as well. And often have very violent nightmares where either I’m the murderer or nuclear bombs go off. I watch little TV and only really read books from VC Andrews which means it’s not something I watched or read to create these dreams.

Well I’ll see everyone. Gonna take a look at articles first then I’ll probably get to forums later. Truthfully, not on for long because yes it’s a lot but I’m here.

Also, I prefer to remain anonymous so I won’t give my first name but you can call me “D”