My Amnesia is Very Persistent Even Now

[trial'n'error]

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone else has had this occur with them, I have posted many times about different events and aspects of my abuse history. It seems that some of it, I forget about the moment it is written!

My memory is full of holes, especially in childhood. I have had to fight to remember some things, for example a stranger sexual assault when I was 15, I had totally forgotten about for like 5 years until I started posting on this forum! There are things which went on for years in my childhood that I thought I'd never forget, that I did forget until recently. Also many things which happened in school, have gone from vivid memory, to completely forgetting them, and back again over the years.

I just went and re-read different posts of mine on this forum, the trauma diary in particular, plus some PMs. Now mind you, I only joined this forum in August!! I found things in my posts and PMs that I had managed to forget already since writing them!! Details of the incidents which appeared in my mind while I was thinking of them, apparently disappeared just as fast. This just blows my mind. Has anybody else had this happen? Is this common in PTSD?

 

[anthony]

This is not amnesia... its simply your mind recognising all the facts when given them, though not necessarily needing them once aired. This is why you need to write things out, because often when writing your mind will fill in any gaps for you, though once released, your brain is relieved to a point for a better term.

Trauma also imparts various aspects upon the memory, both short and long term. As trauma clears from the brain, the memories often become easier to access.

 

[trial'n'error]

Yeah, it seems like my mind is prioritizing somehow... like, "OK you need to deal with this now" but once I'm done, it's no longer needed to be in my conscious mind.

For this reason, I have decided to re-read my journaling efforts regarding my trauma history, because even with things I wrote a week ago, it seems there are surprises there for me.