My T Hugs Clients!

[Panda Bear]

Sometimes.....I'm in shock :arghh;

Totally being dramatic here, but I asked him if he hugs his patients and he said sometimes....

I should have known, he appears huggable, and after he made a comment this week about how hugs can and are proven to be healing, I had to ask! Nothing about me wants a hug or any touch from him as I'm very anti physical contact.

Mostly, I'm just fascinated! In shock! He hugs.....Don't know why this surprises me. He told me about a year ago that he'd like me to be okay with him hugging me by our last session together. I just figured that he was being annoying and didn't really mean it.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Interesting... Ts that hug are not all that common really. But hugging does help most people, now, emphasis on most, there are exceptions, many :)

And you can opt out of hugs, I believe :) I hope the realization doesn't upset you too much :P

I guess, not hugs today, or hug? :hug:?

 

[Panda Bear]

I know I can opt out of hugs and he would never force me or anything. It's okay that he hugs, I was just surprised!

Someday I might hug him.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hehe :) Good luck on the journey you have before you :) I could hardly do without hugs

 

[mrsps]

I get a hug from my T at the end of each session. I asked her after about the 6th or so session if she gave hugs. She said she did and would I like one at the end of the session. I said I did and from that session onwards we have always hugged at the end of each session. She is like a mother figure to me and that moment of having her arms around me I feel safe and protected and everything feels ok for those few seconds.

 

[Rumors]

Very cool stories. I would likely fall out too but I think it is very kind and nice. I imagine it is quite comforting.

 

[Biz]

@Panda Bear , I like how surprised you are. I can read it so clearly in what you wrote.

I currently work with a counselor I've been getting bodywork with for ~2yrs. Yet, it wasn't until maybe a year of working together that we hugged. Mind you, she's touching when we're doing bodywork, but to me that's different and there's something very safe/much easier about the bodywork because it's all done on a table so the space is very clear and divided in a way.

The session after a particularly rough one, she offered me a hug and I said yes. From there, she would offer at the end of each session, and I would say yes or no, until she didn't one day and we stopped hugging for a few weeks. Then, I had to ask. After the first time I asked for a hug, we've hugged without prompting since. Although, sometimes if it's been a crazy session, she'll still ask which is nice/reassuring. It's been a very interesting journey to get to this point.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I see my theraphist/psychiatrist more professionally, as someone to work on my problems with... SO I am not really expecting hugs there, just to clarify. But when it comes to other people, hugs

 

[Sandstone]

How terrifying.

 

[Panda Bear]

@Biz you're work sounds interesting! Not my cup of tea, but I do like hearing about how others work through their PTSD. It's nice that you feel okay with giving/receiving hugs.

Pretty sure if I asked for a hug, T would give it to me. Especially knowing this current information. But keep in mind, we don't even shake hands or anything, so this is a frightening concept.

Someday, it'll feel good. I hope.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hahaha, this thread is both funny and serious :P

 

[barefoot]

About a year ago, my therapist casually slipped into conversation that she sometimes gives some of her long term clients a hug at the end of a session. I think it came up because I was saying that my physical boundary stuff was getting worse and that I was starting to find people touching me intolerable. And she said that some people were touchy/huggy and some people weren't and that either way was ok. Then she said about hugging some of her clients. She was clearly trying to say that the fact that I didn't like touching/hugging, didn't mean that I was wrong and that I 'should' like it etc. So, it was clearly meant to be reassuring and validating.

It wasn't!

I had a really strong, visceral reaction to it. I couldn't get out of her room quickly enough at the end of that session and it really, really bothered me for the rest of the week. And then she brought it up the next session to say she had seen it had a massive impact on me and that she was sorry and that she could see now that it wasn't the best example she could have used, bearing in mind the focus of our work. Something about it was really unbearable to me - hearing that she did it, us talking about it, me thinking about her doing it to me...the whole thing was a total head f*ck and I've never really got to understanding why that is. I managed to say that it somehow made her seem less trustworthy but then I couldn't explain any more than that and then I started dissociating!

It totally threw me just how much I was freaked out by it. And even after we'd talked about it and she'd apologised for saying it (not that I thought she needed to apologise for saying it), it really did bother me for a long time. It caused a real rupture in our relationship and we had to work through building it back up again for several weeks afterwards.

Even now, if I try to picture us hugging, I just can't even imagine it. My head goes completely blank.

And I know that if we were to talk about it again, I'd have the same adverse reaction and the same level of uncomfortability.

A new goal for therapy perhaps - to get a hug at the end ;-)