My T Thinks Therapy Is Making Me Worse

[Jane.l]

Ok finally got a minute to myself !
That went well :) @scout86 I actually did suddenly think of going back over some of this thread on the train on the way there and it really helped . I wrote a few notes on a card and at the top I wrote

Be open
He wants to help you not judge you
He wants you to get better
He wants to be able to do his job
Let him help - be open and honest
Take a risk - it will be ok

And at the end of the day if it goes pear shaped I can come back to you lovelies for support .

So I eventually got there with a better attitude but very nervous !

So I brought up the borderline traits thing and it seems I am indeed playing catch up and he's been thinking this himself - I then asked him if you can get 'nice' borderlines - he was puzzled why I thought they might not be nice - so I brought up the manipulation and anger issues that tend to come up on websites but weren't in the book I read - and he explained more about it and that bpd tends to get a bad rap but it's basically a load of crap and one of the main issues is emotional dysregulation - core identity issues - feeling like different people etc . So it's all starting to click into place - I said to him that all the DBT stuff which is meant to help stability is all the stuff I can't do and he smiled his ah ha she gets it smile and said I know !

So we are doing it his way - it finally makes sense to me - to have him accept me will enable me to build self acceptance for myself and we are on the same page whoo hoo

We also talked about some fairly tricky things and it felt really good to feel ok about doing it.

We also talked about managing between sessions and we agreed on if it gets too hard ,contact him and he will fit me in ASAP.

I even told him I find the forum really helpful - I couldn't even tell him I used it before - he thinks it's a great source of support . He finished by saying how impressed he was with my attitude - gold star for me :) - I am for the first time in a long time optimistic - I feel I know what I am dealing with and that I might finally be getting somewhere.

Big big thanks for your support and making the difference :hug:

 

[ghotiff]

That's so great. Congratulations. You deserve so much praise for seeking help, listening openly to others input here and then following your own gut instincts.

 

[Jane.l]

@ghotiff thank you - the support I had here from everyone made me work through this in a much more logical way - I couldn't be happier with the outcome at the moment . Thank you I really appreciate your help :)

 

[joeylittle]

Yay!!!!! seriously, that's so great. great, great, great. Celebratory chicken! :chicken::chicken::chicken:

 

[Jane.l]

@joeylittle lol made me laugh thanks for the chickens ! And heart felt thanks for your help - it made a massive difference - seriously big thanks :hug:

 

[scout86]

Be open
He wants to help you not judge you
He wants you to get better
He wants to be able to do his job
Let him help - be open and honest
Take a risk - it will be ok

Can I borrow that? I may need it for Thursday's appointment and there's a blank spot on the refrigerator just about that size!

Sounds like an awesome session! Way to go!!!!!! :)

 

[Jane.l]

@scout86 yes go for it - I actually took it into the session with me just in case I forgot by the time I got there ;)

 

[SnowJo]

Can I ask you a potentially painful question. Would you be willing to stop talking suicide or at a minimum reduce it to one or 2 references in a counselling session? Do you think you could possibly discuss this with him or even a new T? Do you think you might be using suicide ideation in order to punish him for abandonment before it's even happened?and now that he hasn't been able to effectively work past it he's showing a lack of skills and maybe he is genuinely not dealing with the situation in professional manor because he's scared? Are you bullying him with these threats in the sessions? I realise this will likely not be what you want to hear, I believe there is a good therapist out there for you. But maybe you need to restrict suicide ideation to actually "do some constructive work" with the next one?
Have you done any thinking to analyse why you do it? Is it to avoid something or punish someone or is it part if depression caused by ptsd on a biological level that requires a change or a start in medication? I don't want you thinking I am blaming because I completely get where your at... but I want you to win! To be at this thing! To get some insight into what's happening so you can get a good therapy fit and heal. And get joy in your life. I am battling with my current arrangements with shrink/therapist/thoughts about everything and what I need to do next. I am absolutely determined to win! To be at this thing! Keep talking. Keep searching. Hunt out every ounce of joy that might be coming your way.

 

[Rumors]

Snowjo this is an older thread so I am not sure the same answers apply, however you ask some really good universal questions! ;)

 

[QuietNow]

@Ms Spock No I am sure he thinks it's me, I go through phases where because he is very...

You need a new therapist. Stat.

They're the hired help, not your best friend. It's really hard for all of us to cope with that concept. To make the therapy workable, you have to like them. BUT, you don't want to like them so much that you start pulling punches in your sessions about your pain. Feeling like what you witnessed/went through will scar someone for life if you reveal it is natural. It won't scar a decent therapist.

You're attaching to them. Move on before you start making up scenarios in your head. It sounds like he's redirecting you already, and is pushing you to another because he senses he's not going to be effective. Go. As rough as it is to find someone else, you need to do that.

----
This is an older thread. I answered the first question in the post without reading through the entire thread first. Mea culpa. However, for others in the same boat, the answer is similar. We have to like therapists to really work with them, but we don't want to like them so much that we become attached to them.