My Therapist Speaks Sharply

[Whitebird]

Hi everyone,

I changed my therapist 4 months ago. The first one was so kind and supportive, but I couldn't trust him at all. This new one often speaks very sharply, but I can trust him much more than the first one. I usually feel upset in his office, but can open up better! It seems very strange to me.

Have you ever had any experiences like this? What do you think? Where does it come from? I would be happy to know your ideas.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I'm usually more suspicious towards people who are very kind and supportive, than towards people who seem more detached and straightforward.
The ones that are more straightforward seem less emotionally involved in my issue, which gives me room to breathe, and it also gives me some room to change my perspective towards my own issues...

 

[falling_wave]

I think the fact that he says things how it is means that you don't have to spend time and energy trying to read between the lines. He is helping you save energy for the things that matter. Honesty builds trust and respect. He is probably testing to see how much reality based information you can handle and if he is good he will discover and be sensitive to what you can and cannot handle and different points in your treatment.

 

[katiekat]

I just switched therapists because of this exact reason. My first T always approached me with compassion and understanding and I liked that style. But I was unable to open up to him about certain subjects and so I switched to an older female T. She was easier to talk to about some things, but there were a few red flags for me over the 3 months I saw her. She scolded me and made me feel like I was a "bad"person and her behavior wasn't consistent session to session-or even within the sessions. She felt unpredictable. When I told her how uncomfortable she made me feel the last time she scolded me, she said that this was how shewworked and that its been effective for all of her other clients. She refused to even try to understand my issue with it and terminated me. Now I have a female T that is only 10 years older than me and she has been consistent and gentle so far.

I think if his communication style is at all threatening to you or hinders the ability for therapy to be productive, I would suggest switching Ts. If you are fine with it then no problem. .. but I have a sense that it's bothering you or you wouldn't have posted this thread.

 

[StarChild]

Hi @Whitebird, before I'm going to answer, may I ask you?... Stems your PTSD from a traumatic childhood or were you already an adult when you developed PTSD? And did you experience verbal violence as child or adult?

 

[Lucycat]

This new one often speaks very sharply,

I guess it depends on your interpretation of 'sharply'. I like a person to be a straight talker. Non judgmental but tell me as it is. I don't like things being left open to mis-interpretation, so I prefer not to have it sugar-coated. I know that does not suit everybody.

For those in the UK, I would like 'Doc Martin' from the TV show to be my doctor. No messing - you know where you stand!

 

[MCBL71]

My last therapist was a bully, not just to me, but to all the clients. I finally got fed up and told the woman about herself because no one else would (there may've been some cursing involved). I now have a new therapist who I like much better. I've only seen her twice, but she seems to listen more and wants to know whats going on in my life, instead of screaming at me all the time. A lot of my friends want to switch therapists as well, but they're all too afraid to stand up to S.

 

[StarChild]

I finally got fed up and told the woman about herself because no one else would (there may've been some cursing involved)

:roflmao: That's great! I so wish I would have had this strength / courage, when one of my former therapists started to humiliate me with statements like "My goodness, you are so naive! Are you sure your iq is high enough to go to school again?" or "You're only average and really nothing special!" and another asked me "Now, tell me, how does your sh!t-faith in your sh!t-God help you?" and other nice things more. And I just sat there and was looking like a fool... :speechless: - So, again, well done @MCBL71! :tup:

 

[Whitebird]

@TreeHugger I have childhood trauma and some parts of it are verbal abuse.