Need Help With Domestic Violence

[Deleted member 1860]

Wow. I'm a pretty straight shooter, but even I don't see how this one can be interpreted as self defense! Sao, just ignore those who are victim blaming. So not cool.

Gas Lighting is named after the movie....old black and white. I couldn't get through it all. Yep, sounds like he's gas lighting you, making you feel like you are the crazy one but its he who is doing all these things to you. Get out now because it will only get worse. Once you start to doubt reality (and I mean SERIOUSLY start to doubt reality), its hellish fighting your way back.

 

[joeylittle]

@saoirserylyn, look for an Urgent Care place you can go to - its not as expensive as the ER, usually. But really: it doesn't matter. Go, now. You'll be waiting, so call the leasing office from there if you wish. Definitely call your therapist. It sounds like you have a car, which is great. I don't think your mom understands the situation totally, can you ask her to come today?

 

[sun seeker]

Are you absolutely sure there is no shelter in your area? I ask because I live in a semi-rural area that doesn't have a shelter but does have a safe house program. It isn't publicized very well, so it was hard to find when I needed it that same night, the adrenaline was pumping, and I couldn't think straight. Lots of phone calls later I found out about it. I think in the end it was by calling the women's shelter in the next town over, where I didn't want to go because I wouldn't be able to get home for work, and they told me the number to call. Safe houses are secret locations and they'll put you up for a certain length of time. Could you find out if there is such a thing? I'd be surprised if there isn't.

I'm so glad you have parents who are willing to help you, it sounds like a way you can keep the good things you've built in your life and get him out of your life, both. But I don't like the idea of sticking around one more night and trying to talk to him again. Please don't do that. Get out now.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Get out. Please go now, let us know you are in a safe space later.

Please, as a male I implore you to leave now, however it needs to be, get away from this asshole and then come back to the thread and let us all know you are away and safe.

Laurie

 

[rightkindofme]

Ignore the people who are blaming you. This is not your fault. I would go to Urgent Care today if possible. The longer from the assault the less they will be able to see of your injuries because you will heal. I'm glad you are asking coworkers for a place to stay tonight. I wouldn't call the lease office until you have talked to the police because the leasing office can't get in the middle of a domestic dispute. They are likely to just kick both of you out so they don't have to deal with you.

The hospital will be able to help you with calling the police for filing a police report. Until the police report is filed... you have no leg to stand on. :(

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh ya, Safe Houses are hidden and not known to the public. I had a friend who worked at one (well, more than one over the years) and she was forbidden to give out the address, so nobody knew where it was. People in the general population generally don't know about safe houses, but therapists network and know that they exist. I agree with @sun seeker in that seeking out a safe house via your therapist may be your best bet.

 

[IrisL]

Absolutely agree with others get out as quick as possible. Attention to do not leave any evidence where to go at all. And if hopefully he isn't that mental (massive doubt about that) empty the trash... Weird but if he want to find you he can do that way.
Don't stop to think what if - atomic massively concentrate what you wouldn't bother you if you don't have. Take just the most important one. Don't wait until the last hour!!!
And take a cab - quicker to get out that public transport.
And after when you get out - find another city to live in. Apply for new job and move. Burn everything behind you.
The apartment and the job isn't worth it.
And maybe you can check the website airbnb or similiar. People renting out them room for short term at least for a night for your own safety.
And pretty please update us afterwords when you got out for that hell situation.
Until concentrate - don't lose time to question yourself, just do it.whatever you feel safer do that. He is NOT safe.

 

[IrisL]

And call your therapist when you are at the hospital. Or as soon as possible.

 

[saoirserylyn]

Thanks everyone. I haven't responded because I'm getting everything taken care of here. I will reply later tonight to let you all know the status on everything. Again, thank you all so much for the encouragement. When I made my first post, I felt really scared and alone. Thank you for giving me the confidence to reach out to people and ask for some help. I've always had a huge problem doing that in my real life. Thanks again!
I will update later this evening when I'm situated somewhere. Just taking clothes and computer phone and essentials for now. Will worry about getting other things with a friend while he is gone at work.

 

[Cool Cat]

The police will always side with the woman IMO where domestic violence is concerned. Can you leave the house and call without telling him?

Keep safe.

 

[rightkindofme]

The police will always side with the woman IMO where domestic violence is concerned. Can you leave the house and call without telling him?

Given that this woman has had the opposite experience... your opinion is wrong.

 

[IrisL]

You are stronger than what you think of yourself - and you just prove to yourself ^.^