Need Some Clarity

[Run131Art]

I have been dating a former Marine for the last two months. Everything has been great. We've meet each others friends and family. We hadn't had any fights. He told me early on that he was going to therapy.

He asks me to meet him for lunch, which was not unusual, and says he doesn't want to be my BF right now that he has a lot on his plate right now...stuff I know about and stuff he doesn't want me to know. He can't move to the next level with me a give us 100% focus with all of this stuff, but be friends and do all the stuff we have been doing. I said no because maintaining contact would be hurtful for me. He wanted to do this alone, but still see me.

We texted some more back and forth, and I said maybe if we had some limits I could have some contact while he worked through stuff. I finally got out of him that he thought he had worked through all "this stuff" 8 years ago, but that his therapist keeps bringing it up. I thought we were coming to a compromise, but then he decided that maybe a clean break is the best thing. He said right now we were on good terms, and can he call me when he gets all this stuff settled. He just kept asking if he could call me when he got this settled.

The next thing I know he unfriended me from facebook and got on an online dating website. All of this happened in 24 hours.

I'm confused. I don't know every much about PTSD. He had a therapy session on Monday, and this happened on a Wednesday. Is he just wanting to date other people or is this a result of the PTSD and therapy? Should I expect him to call or just right him off?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi, I am so very sad this happened to you. It sounds like he broke it off with you. He is looking for other women in an online dating site. I am so sorry you have to go through this one. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, so many feelings all at once. You deserve better than this. I am sorry he did this to you. It is pretty crazymaking.

I wish you good luck on what ever you decide. Mabe someone else will have better things to say to you. It is just my opinion. The online dating site for me is a deal breaker. It does not make any sense. It sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. You take good and gentle care of yourself. This happens so often. I do not understand it myself. I do not know what is going on in his mind. And speculation and assuming will not accomplish anything good for you. Hugs for you. I am so sorry.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I understand that it must hurt. But it may be a kindness he is showing you.

It's not uncommon for people dealing with this stuff to need to do so alone. Therapy and recovery takes a big commitment and a lot of mental and emotional energy. Sometimes it is simply that there is not the mental/emotional energy available to be able to give to anything else.

Regarding the dating site, I don't understand men, but it may well be that he can have contact with women that way without giving them commitment.