I've had (C) PTSD since childhood so over the years I've developed a pretty good skillset/ coping mechanisms for dealing with it.
For a few years now, I've been dealing with depression, which I'm finding is a whole other beast.
Somehow all my hacks for how to deal with PTSD don't help at all with depression, in fact, many of them seem to make the depression worse.
I'll try to give a few exapmles:
With PTSD, for me, planning ahead has always been essential and having a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C to know I'm covering all bases/ all eventualities. With depression, this doesn't work at all. I can only deal with the "here and now" and thinking about the future sends me into a meltdown. I have to "trust" that if I do things okay now, then somehow the future will turn out more or less okay too.
Being in tune with the needs of the people around me and making sure those needs were met was a big part of staying safe, with PTSD. With depression, I can't even take care of my own needs, let alone those of other people and even thinking about it makes my brain shut down.
With PTSD, dissociation was always an option to get things done that I didn't actually feel up to doing. It was like a PTSD superpower that allowed me to achieve and over-achieve. WIth depression that's completely gone and I am utterly under-achieving all the time.
With PTSD, being hypervigilant and hyper aware of "everything" - all the minute cues that other people might miss, was also part of being safe. With depression, noticing too many things sends me into total overwhelm and brain shutdown.
With PTSD, "sucking it up" was always an option and I could put things like feelings aside, in order to reach my goal. With depression, my ability to suck it up seems to have dissapeared into thin air and feelings are unsurmountable obstacles, regardless of how much I "need" to reach a certain goal and ignoring my feelings seems to make them even worse.
With PTSD, there was loads of adrenaline and "fight" mode allowed me to be tough, motivated and assertive. With depression, I have zero adrenaline, zero motivation, zero assertiveness.
So yeah, that's just a few examples, but basically all of my PTSD coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with stuff have turned totally useless and I keep dumbly trying to somehow apply them to this new situation (depression) and none of it is working at all.
I feel like I'm too dumb to even understand the basics of "what to do" about depression.
For a few years now, I've been dealing with depression, which I'm finding is a whole other beast.
Somehow all my hacks for how to deal with PTSD don't help at all with depression, in fact, many of them seem to make the depression worse.
I'll try to give a few exapmles:
With PTSD, for me, planning ahead has always been essential and having a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C to know I'm covering all bases/ all eventualities. With depression, this doesn't work at all. I can only deal with the "here and now" and thinking about the future sends me into a meltdown. I have to "trust" that if I do things okay now, then somehow the future will turn out more or less okay too.
Being in tune with the needs of the people around me and making sure those needs were met was a big part of staying safe, with PTSD. With depression, I can't even take care of my own needs, let alone those of other people and even thinking about it makes my brain shut down.
With PTSD, dissociation was always an option to get things done that I didn't actually feel up to doing. It was like a PTSD superpower that allowed me to achieve and over-achieve. WIth depression that's completely gone and I am utterly under-achieving all the time.
With PTSD, being hypervigilant and hyper aware of "everything" - all the minute cues that other people might miss, was also part of being safe. With depression, noticing too many things sends me into total overwhelm and brain shutdown.
With PTSD, "sucking it up" was always an option and I could put things like feelings aside, in order to reach my goal. With depression, my ability to suck it up seems to have dissapeared into thin air and feelings are unsurmountable obstacles, regardless of how much I "need" to reach a certain goal and ignoring my feelings seems to make them even worse.
With PTSD, there was loads of adrenaline and "fight" mode allowed me to be tough, motivated and assertive. With depression, I have zero adrenaline, zero motivation, zero assertiveness.
So yeah, that's just a few examples, but basically all of my PTSD coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with stuff have turned totally useless and I keep dumbly trying to somehow apply them to this new situation (depression) and none of it is working at all.
I feel like I'm too dumb to even understand the basics of "what to do" about depression.
