Negative transference?

[zoie33]

About 10 days ago my therapist upset me when we were doing a treatment plan and suicide contract. He knew how I wanted it worded and I felt like he purposely manipulated the words to push me in a corner. I felt trapped and betrayed. I told him at the next session that I felt that way and that I felt like it was my abuser all over again treating me like crap because that's what was good for me. He immediately apologized and we revise the contract and I thought everything was over I had forgotten about it.

Over the last two days I've been having horrible body sensation flashbacks of my abuse as a child. 10 days ago I was relating my therapist to an abuser I had in college. All of a sudden last night I started thinking of my therapist more as my abuser from college. I already knew that his words could hurt me and I pictured his hands during session working the mouse and keyboard on his laptop. My brain just said those hands can hit as well. I have no idea where this is coming from and it's scaring me I don't want to feel this way. I know I need to tell him tomorrow during our session but I'm afraid he's going to terminate me if I can't get over this feeling.

I really like my therapist and I trust him as much as I can. Has anyone else had a similar situation

 

[Rose White]

That sounds like transference. You are transferring your feelings toward your abuser onto your therapist. If you tell him and he helps you work through your feelings it could be healing for you. If you don't tell him you may never trust him and end up leaving.

It's not really negative or positive, it just exists. Telling a therapist that you love them is not a positive experience even if love is supposed to be positive emotion. Transference is painful all the way around, because it's admitting that you are unfulfilled or full of unbridled rage or that you will never be loved the way you needed to be when you were little.

 

[Justmehere]

Negative transference is to be expected as a common part of the process when dealing with past trauma. I've been through it a few times - both negative and positive transference.

The more you can tell the therapist about it, the less likely the relationship will fall apart because of it.