Sufferer New, But Not To Ptsd

[EccentricButHarmless]

Hello there -

I've had PTSD for nearly 20 years. Mostly, it's in remission, but lately it hasn't been, and things have been hard. I had a flashback at a meeting for an organization I volunteer for and chewed out the Board President, and that led to all kinds of embarrassment, and a parting of the ways with them.

This was a new kind of flashback for me, or maybe one that I just hadn't recognized before, that is purely emotional without any sensory component at all. Which is a little scary since I have always been able to realize when I was triggered before because I just felt different. This one I didn't feel a change - I just got very angry. Looking back on it I can see the trigger, but at the time I blew right past it and went straight to rage.

So, not an easy time, and in some ways I feel like I'm learning what it is to have PTSD all over again. And you know how it is - if you get triggered then you're more sensitive to being triggered, later rinse repeat. And family doesn't get that I need to hunker down a little and it's hard to get work done so I have to work over to make up for being so distracted. I think all that is pretty normal, if that word can be used in this context. But still, it's tough right now.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi and welcome, hope you will find understanding, support and peace here. :)

 

[Toria]

Hello, and welcome to the Forum - I love, love, love your Username :joyful:

There is are sections on symptoms - including flashbacks - and how other people deal with them. I hope that you will find that others have something similar and can help you to deal with this new issue.

I have to say, you sound to have a very good understanding already; but you can never have too much information!

 

[intothelight]

Hi Eccentricbutharmless,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

Your "rinse and repeat" made me smile as I understand the domino effect of hyper-vigilance. But that is the great part about this site, connecting with people who really understand and support you as you work on healing.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[safenow]

Hello eccentricbutharmless,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. I too loved your "rinse and repeat'. That is so what it feels like at times.

You will find this to be a great site full of understanding people, both with PTSD and those who support those with it. Also some really good information here.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[EccentricButHarmless]

Thank you friends, one of the things I was talking with my therapist about is how hard it is not being able to tell anyone what it's like when you can't stop thinking about what happened and you want to just whack your head on the floor hard enough to knock it right out of you. Doesn't work, but you can give yourself a whacking great headache that way.

Just to make clear, I'm not self-injuring and don't have a wish to, not really. I just want it to shut up, and go away. Don't we all.

 

[WillyKat]

I just want it to shut up, and go away. Don't we all.

You can say that again. If only there was a Mute button.