Undiagnosed New Here and Unsure

[Tabley]

Hi my name is Jon and I'm new to this forum. A few months back I found my dad dead in bed one morning. His face was covered with blood and he was cold to the touch. I remember opening the garage door and calling the ambulance and screaming at the poor lady on the other side. It was too late. I knew it was too late. But I tried chest compressions per the dispatchers instructions. Every night and in the small quiets of the day I flashback to that moment, it replays in my head whenever it's empty. I don't really know what I'm supposed to be looking for here. My mom said I should join a group but I don't really know what I'm supposed to be looking for. Thanks for reading.

 

[parrotthepolly]

Welcome to the forum, that's an image I'll never get out of my head.

Have you gotten therapy for it, might help to process whatever you're experiencing.

 

[arfie]

hello jon. welcome to the forum. knowing what you are reaching for isn't as important as the reaching. i am glad you reached out. that is a heavy load to carry alone. help available. keep reaching.

welcome aboard.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. Sorry for your loss, especially in such distressing circumstances.

but I don't really know what I'm supposed to be looking for.

Avoiding isolating yourself with your distress is an excellent reason to connect. In the early days after experiencing a traumatic event, social support is the single most important determinant of whether a trauma experience becomes a PTSD problem.

It also sounds like moving through the flashbacks might be helpful in reducing the amount of distress you’re having to deal with. Processing those memories with a therapist could be really helpful with that. In the meantime, some grounding skills that can help bring you out of those flashbacks in the moment they occur might also be helpful.

Again, sorry for your loss.

 

[Susan Jane]

Welcome to the forum. Sorry for your loss as well. I cannot add to the recommendations already given, but I wanted you to know you are not alone, and as Arfie said keep reaching.