No Friends + Numbness = Emdr Treatment

[PerfectlyFlawed]

I have lost all of my friends. (not because i am a horrible person) But I think they can sense I am numb and distant. They just slowly pulled away. But then again, I slowly faded away from society in fear of being revictimized.

Sad life.

I dont know what to do...I cannot feel anything, EMDR has reduced my panic and worry. However, the numbness does not go away.

 

[seeking serenity]

I can relate to loosing friends due to ptsd. I am also doing EMDR which seems to be helping. Hope the numbness will go away for you.

 

[jersey]

Hi Perfectly,

Same here... i think you are taking a good first step in coming to this board. Someplace safe to talk with people who understand. I am hoping then maybe it will not be so hard in the real world.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

.Yes, in the real world, people do not understand...It's very frustrating

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

Thanks for replying to my post!

 

[mamachick]

perfectly-Im glad you are here. I think you will get support you need here. Glad to hear you are doing the emdr as well. I have lost many friends as well. Some have moved, Im often not available as I prefer to be alone alot, and lastly, I have let people walk over me and then I express my need or limitation, and they take it very personal. I take responsiblity for that as I let something go on too long, then when I set a boundary it is not well received. The multi tasking and winging it that I did just a few years ago no longer works for me. So it is ok if my honesty seperates us. Keep coming back

 

[Srain]

Perfectly, sometimes breaking down the old brings room for the new. As you move forward and heal, my hope is that you will find more of who you really are and what you want out of your life.

Take good care,
peace,
Rain

 

[Cindy532]

I feel a lot of that myself. I close myself off to people and life and have been doing it for years. Do you think that you cannot feel is a defense mechanism? It's how it is for me. I didn't let myself care or feel too much because I didn't want to be vulnerable again. Or I would pretend I didn't care and let everyone assume it. Oh ha, talking in past tense, I still do it! Putting yourself out there in life, taking risks, getting close, it's so terrifying. Life is terrifying when you've lived through horror and you don't want to go through it again or even in a place where you could be vulnerable again or lose something else important to you. I don't really feel like i'm engaged in life or relationships or anything at all really. I feel detached. I'm also doing EMDR and hoping it will help. I'm still anxious though. =)
This is hard but not impossible right? I wish you luck!

 

[Abrasky]

Pretty common symptom. Hands up to that one. Its hard for me to make friends, and when I want to my brain figures out creative ways to push them away. At least it is putting energy into something I suppose. lol.

It can improve though with time. I made two real friends last year that I saw regularly.

 

[mamachick]

I think that I am so detatched that I just prefer it this way. I dont want to be this way but I genuinely am. The few friends that I have I talk or see very little. Text is great-dont have to be cheery or anything, and they know I m still here as I know some get concerned.

 

[mamachick]

One of those ugly thoughts just popped in-If I was worthy, wouldnt I know it by this age....argggg

 

[Oberons Wife]

hi Perfect, I find it helpful to read what you have said, because it means it's not just me, who behaves like this. I don't think I've ever had a good friend the way other people seem to. I can mother people and look after youngsters really well, but to have an open two-way relationship with an adult seems impossible.
But reading all these posts and realising this is a normal outcome to years of abuse and neglect, gives me hope that I may actually be able to change it. I can't imagine how, but I will commit to doing whatever the therapist suggests and, well, keep my fingers crossed.