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No more therapists for me

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ILoveLife

MyPTSD Pro
Hi all, how are you?

After the quarantene I started searching for a therapist because I went into a bit of a depression.
I tried one who was supposedly really good, but our schedules were wack and they didn't show for the first two, and I had issues for the other two so they ended up calling me irresponsible.
I didn't even get into confrontation, kbye.

Then I found another, we really hit it off, until one day she simply vanished. I sent her an e-mail not even a response.

She wanted to unleash my anger, shame, trauma and a lot more stuff in two weeks and I said I didn't want to do it.

Then I missed one appointment and got a silent treatment.

I'm over the therapist thing for real.
I'm actually doing really good, studying to become a teacher right now, opening up a business, new pet and lots of things to do so things are cool.

Emotionally wise I'm much better, a lot more stable and I've bern actually sleeping well and normal hours.

Had a bit of a rough time before the pandemic and during quarantene but now I'm much better.

Still some paranoia but I think I'll get over it.

So I've decided I won't chase any more therapists. Decidedly, I've not had the best run with therapy and I'm kinda not even blaming them, everyone has issues and I'm positive that the work I've been doing is working.

Oh well, hope everyone is ok.
✌️
 
I've kind of had similar experiences with therapists. I had one that wanted me to do some trauma processing on my 3rd appointment and then admitted she had never done trauma processing for my type of trauma (sexual assault) before. Like you said, they are human too. A lot of them have their own issues. If I ever decide to get back to therapy, I'm planning on spending the first couple appointments just feeling them out. Maybe ask them a few questions, kind of "interview" them to make sure it's a good fit before sharing a lot of personal things with them and then having the therapeutic relationship fall apart. At the end of the day, it's about what helps me. If a therapist is not helping me then there is no reason to stick with them.
 
Deciding not to see a therapist is a totally valid and healthy decision. It is hard to reach out for help and to suffer more in the process of seeking that help. I have also had trouble finding a good therapist, and have wore out a few who wanted to help but were not actually equipped to do so. I ask every new therapist, "Do you know the difference between wanting to help me, and having the ability to help me?" This usually lets me know whether a therapist is going to string me out or refer me when they have reached their capacity.

Another experience I have had is letting things sit for too long and not having a plan if things don't improve. Please make a plan for yourself if that happens because it is so hard to weather the disappointments when symptoms are at their worse. Also, maybe group therapy or some other kind of non-therapy community support group would suit you well?

I hope things continue to improve for you.
 
Sietz! Good to hear from you! I was wondering how you’ve been doing. I just came back to the forum after months being away.

Why is it so hard to find a good therapist? Sounds like you handled your recent encounters well. I can’t believe their work ethics were so atrocious! Glad you were able to negotiate their negatives in a way that did not throw you under the bus.

New pet? Dog? Cat? Rabbit? Pets are the best buddies!??

What are you focusing on, subject-wise, in the framework for a teaching career? You will be a great teacher.

Nice to see your post.?
 
I've kind of had similar experiences with therapists. I had one that wanted me to do some trauma processing on my 3rd appointment and then admitted she had never done trauma processing for my type of trauma (sexual assault) before. Like you said, they are human too. A lot of them have their own issues. If I ever decide to get back to therapy, I'm planning on spending the first couple appointments just feeling them out. Maybe ask them a few questions, kind of "interview" them to make sure it's a good fit before sharing a lot of personal things with them and then having the therapeutic relationship fall apart. At the end of the day, it's about what helps me. If a therapist is not helping me then there is no reason to stick with them.

I spent time "interviewing" and then agreed to 4 sessions....and a discussion about compatibility. That was the best thing I ever did.....finding my first therapist...I was desperate. She didn't know her stuff....and it actually caused some harm in the long run. It's better to shop for a therapist like you are shopping for a comfy pair of shoes that you want to last......take your time and try them on.
 
Its good to hear you are going so well. Strength to strength. Good on you @Sietz.
I am not in therapy at the moment either, but I do think I need more. My confidence with new people and most people is very shaky. But, I am having all kinds of set backs, brush offs and retrograde BS trying to get some.

The fact that you are pressing on, going for it, with building a self-determined life for yourself, is impressive and inspiring.

I am feeling discouraged, so hearing how you are not letting anything hold you back, is good for me.

I'm wondering if I should abandon trying, as well, because the sense of dependency is a bit triggery, to be honest.

So, I don't know whether I should use the lack of service access as exposure therapy and proceed with pursuing treatment, or whether I should do as you are doing and just get on with my life and what I can do for myself.? Although I am not in the same position as you.

Anyway, sorry for highjacking your thread. I don't want to make this about me.

The crappy treatment you received sounds appalling and can't have helped at all. Still, you are amazing.

Kudos to you @Sietz, for being so awesome and powering on, regardless.

Hugs from mums @Sietz??
 
New pet? Dog? Cat? Rabbit? Pets are the best buddies!??
A new puppy!

I got one last year and now thought she needed some company. I was right.


Thanks everyone, hope you're good.
 

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