OCD Ocd

[Nyx]

I guess your answer lies within your medication - whether or not it's clinical. But what happens if you don't know? Why can't you not know?

 

[pi314159]

I just need to know. I spend hours thinking about OCD and researching it on the net and in books. I reread the 2 bits of paper that my psychiatrist gave me telling I have OCD over and over again. I got so worked up I realised that although my psych said I had OCD he obviously didn't believe it because I wasn't taking the recommended meds. This ended in a massive argument where I cried because he had lied to me. I had to take 2 days off work because I was so distraught.

Anyway the next week I gave him a letter detailing all the oc thing I do ( it was 6 pages) and he then said I definitely had OCD. But I don't believe he believes that. I don't care if I don't have it he just needs to tell me the truth.

Anyway my overreaction to this has been going on for over 2 months. I'm crazy!

 

[leanne1321]

I think maybe one thing you should ask is, what difference would either diagnosis make? I mean, if they are learned behaviour, this is something thats been drilled into since childhood and therefore will take a lot of hardwork to stop doing. If it is OCD then obviously meds can help, but I'm sure if you think you have OCD and take meds, then psychologically you may change your behaviour too, if any of that makes sense?

Sorry, I don't know too much about OCD but this what I've said can be true for other phychological problems.

 

[Nyx]

It seems important to you for your T to believe it is OCD, not really whether it's actually OCD or not. Maybe it's a trust issue here, I know you don't trust him too much.

 

[pi314159]

I think I know that the real reason I'm so stuck on OCD is because I want to believe that I'm fine with my sexual abuse. Having OCD would mean all the crap I feel is just a result of some chemicals in my brain instead of as a result if what people have (and haven't) done to me. I know this is true but if you asked me in 5 mins I would probably start fighting for the OCD diagnosis again.

Trust is a big issue for me. I know where this stems from too. I ended up 'loving' the second guy who abused me. One day he just moved away - obviously my fault, obviously he lied to me about wanting me. So now I don't want to believe anything that might not be true because I don't want to be in a vulnerable situation where I can be rejected. I like people who are blunt (like my GP). My psychiatrist takes to long to think and he says that he's still learning about me so his diagnosis may change over time. It just makes me uncomfortable. Make a decision, stick to it and don't let me believe something that isn't true....because it kills me.

 

[pi314159]

I just realized that my psychiatrist hardly ever tells me what to do. I am so used to letting people control my decisions that him wanting me to think for myself is horrifying. Last week he told me I had to take a job offer I had received because it was a great career move and after 2 weeks of just ignoring the offer I took it to my boss and started to resign the next day. I only ever feel comfortable when he's angry with me - like when I was refusing to take meds. Stupid need to be controlled and fear of thinking for myself.

It's weird how my previous comment pretty much said the same thing but now I'm seeing things in a completely new light. Hmmm now to figure out how to not associate being controlled with feeling safe.

 

[Nyx]

How long have you been seeing your psych for?

 

[pi314159]

About 5 months

 

[Nyx]

Then he's not lying to you when he says he's still getting to know you. 5 months are not enough. On the other hand, him telling you what to do does not necessarily mean he's helping...

You were going to start EMDR, right? did you?

 

[pi314159]

Nope, apparently I need to talk about things instead (or first) I don't really know.

 

[Nyx]

I would say either try giving him a chance and trust him, or walk out and fin one that better suits you needs. You need a good therapeutic relationship, it shouldn't add to your stress, in my opinion.

 

[Howard Beal]

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
After I looked it up and not being seen by. A doctor I think that I could benifit from talking to some one about it I fit in
several ways. One is hand washing and dirt nasty! Also I want new shoes that must not be marred in any way. Who know what freud would say? Another one is kinda weird ( my secret) but it happened shortly after my marriage. Funny uh?