Oh No . . . Feelings For My Therapist

[Heather]

Maybe though, if I can allow him to be human, and allow myself to 'care' instead of running from it, it will help in the long run......? Why does caring have to be so complicated anyway?

It will most definitely help in the long run! But it is so hard and scary to open up and allow someone else because you run the risk of being hurt AGAIN. Believe me I know exactly why you are so, so hesitant.

I have no real close friends anymore because I run everything off into the ditch when it comes to relationships. Trusting another human is very hard.

I wish you luck, jade and courage

 

[becvan]

Maybe it wouldn't hurt me to show a tad bit of compassion. He definitely has for me. But just thinking about it makes me not able to breathe.

I know he's human....but I guess I don't want him to be because I know where that has always lead in the past.

Exactly he has risked showing you compassion. You could have turned that on him and been cruel but you didn't. So you already know from past experience what type of person he is. The risk is actually minimal. It's your fear that is the issue.

Learning our therapists are human can be hard. This can be a turning point for you. You can learn that not all humans are bad from this. This would be huge steps in PTSD recovery. It will help in the long run. But it will only help if you take this baby step.


You can do this.
bec

 

[anthony]

Maybe you are just finding compassion now JB? Not a bad thing IMHO.

 

[Jade-]

Compassion: A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering( I actually looked it up).

Yep, that's what I'm feeling for my T.......

 

[Reclusive]

Of course you care about your T - he's been your battle partner for however long now and it's only natural to care about him. Humans are community creatures - it's the only way we survive, so in a way, you're better abling yourself to survive and heal in this world and that's a very good thing.

 

[anthony]

Its normal to have feelings for people close in your life... so if you use that logic, then you are actually progressively heading in the correct direction. A therapist should always keep the professional boundary in place, its not up to the patient... and as long as it doesn't hinder the therapeudic relationship, ie. stalking, then it is actually part of the therapy process.... as therapy is designed so that you actually have a relationship that you feel you can be honest, be yourself, like talking with a friend... it is designed that way. Its only natural both parties have compassion and other relevant emotions for the health and well-being.

 

[Nicolette]

Love encompasses so many different relationships including the feelings involved. I have concern, compassion & friendships with people but only one involves intamacy. As humans we need these relationships.

Feelings are one thing; how you act on them another. You wouldn't be normal, given the close relationship, if you weren't concerned or had no feelings IMHO.

 

[Jade-]

Thanks everyone.

I was a little freaked out because I was feeling something and wasn't sure what it was or why I was feeling that way. Now I know.

This is a bit scary for me. I will keep seeing my therapist and hope that things don't go wrong now that the invisible shield I keep around myself has been penetrated.

 

[KP the nut]

Just got back from a session with T, thank goodness he is a good guy whom I can trust. Needed him a lot today.

 

[Jade-]

Glad you had a good session KP.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi Jadebear, I wouldn't worry; when you think about it- if we choose- we could care about every single person on earth (or at least 'in our path'). I would suspect that it's the connotation of where it might lead to - having trust betrayed, or something bad happening to them, or whatever- that starts the other fears going.

The shock is likely just acknowledging that you've actually trusted someone, and they haven't been harmful, only wish for your good. I don't think we're used to that. Especially (further) when we say or do things that to ourselves no one in their right mind ('we' feel) should be able to see past.

 

[Tinyflame]

Quite frankly I have the opposite problem: I feel 'better' caring but cannot imagine the reverse.