Undiagnosed Potential ptsd from self inflicted trauma?

[Abstract]

hi,
Natural death and drugs are exclusions.

I hear you are looking for answers about how you feel. What others are saying to you is that a/ the type of experience clinically is very specific and b/ the symptoms one experience are specific and have to relate to that exact experience. Sometimes that can be a bit muddy to figure out. You however actually aren't describing PTSD symptoms although I totally get that this is affecting your life, relationships etc. The early fondling although it may not have affected you hugely may be an element in how you feel.

Criterion A is a basic exclusion inclusion list for PTSD and as Friday mentioned it does not in any way mean someone has PTSD if you have one of these experiences or even many. Many many experience criterion a and don't end up with PTSd. PTSd is a combination of criteria A and specific symptoms specifically related to that criterion.

My advice to you would be to not get caught up with labels and get some counselling. Just see where that takes you.

 

[american98]

You took a big risk, sharing some really painful and hard stuff. It was courageous of you. None of...

Oh no I'm sorry I didn't mean anyone here hurt me, everyone's been super nice and civil, I just meant sorry if any of my responses came across as defensive as that is not my attempt. The only reasons they might be curt is that this is the first time I'm ever actually formulating this into thoughts that can be shared with other people, normally its just like a cloud of random thoughts that keep me constantly distracted, tense, jumpy and irritable. Again that might not be the right way to phrase things I'm still getting used to trying to communicate this to other people, so that's why I was apologizing for potentially coming off as defensive, rereading my message I now realize my apologies might've sounded sarcastic which was not my intention, it's even harder to convey this over text online.

hi,
Natural death and drugs are exclusions.

I hear you are looking for answers about how you feel. W...

Sorry that's exactly what I meant, I'm not trying to get caught up in labels and didn't mean to offend anyone with the tag self diagnosed I was more using this as a base point to seek help, I wasn't there when he passed, but talked my mother through it who was and had to move the body. I really apologize I was just using this as a starting point to seek help and didn't mean to come off as though I had come to the conclusion that I had PTSD.

hi,
Natural death and drugs are exclusions.

I hear you are looking for answers about how you feel. W...

I don't think the fondling really impacted me, honestly he might've not even felt me up, I just remember feeling weird because I thought he did it for a weirdly long time and I was pretty sure my belt was fine before. That doesn't really matter though, I've never even thought to talk about it before today.

 

[american98]

hi,
Natural death and drugs are exclusions.

I hear you are looking for answers about how you feel. W...

I feel besides for a loose/stretch to fit Criterion A I heavily identity with nearly every other symptom/parts of the other criterion, again not claiming to self diagnosis myself, just trying to articulate my thoughts.

 

[EveHarrington]

What experience is a “stretch” to a criterion A trauma?

 

[american98]

I'm going off a pdf which I found online so it might not be accurate, it won't let me link it, I can't find anything saying the death must be violent, so I was saying stretch and again I'm emphasizing stretch by connecting the dots to me having to move my grandfathers body, who died in his bed, and staying in his house/sleeping in his bed after the experience. Again I'm emphasizing stretch only because I feel like every other criterion describes to a cue what I've been experiencing.

 

[EveHarrington]

So you have flashbacks about your grandfathers death?

 

[mumstheword]

I feel besides for a loose/stretch to fit Criterion A I heavily identity with nearly every other sym...

Usually, those of us that develop ptsd, and there doesn't seem to be just cause, have had some earlier trauma, as a very young child, we don't necessarily remember what happened. We can completely dissociate from the event or events and our brains will minimise what happened, as a way to cope. So, it is possible that you went through something life threatening at a very young age, or you perceived that it was life threatening, and just don't remember. Delayed onset ptsd is a thing.
It could be even a difficult birth experience or sexual abuse at a preverbal age.
I'm not saying this applies to you, I'm just saying that when ptsd or dissociative disorders develop, and there seems not enough traumatic experience to warrant the brain/endocrine/psyche injury, something or a series of things happened earlier that may have been.either downplayed, forgotten about or dissociated from.

 

[american98]

So you have flashbacks about your grandfathers death?

Flashbacks to the day of my experience I talked about in the post, including me in his bed. Again I'm not arguing I have PTSD and was using this as a starting point, self-diagnosis was a poor tag to choose, I've just felt very alone and finally decided to start looking for answers. I'm also leaning towards disocciative identity order or something I haven't heard of because I feel like getting into writing might be actually worsening my problems rather than helping them because I'm creating an alternate reality to solve my problems rather than solving them in the real world.

 

[american98]

Usually, those of us that develop ptsd, and there doesn't seem to be just cause, have had some earl...

Only semi life threatening part I can think of was that the acid trips where causing me to relive parts of my childhood and would sporadically give me panic attacks making me think I was dying/having a heart attack. After I stopped doing acid it took me almost six months to break the habit of feeling my heart beat a couple times every hour just because I would constantly randomly think I was dying.

 

[EveHarrington]

Flashbacks to the day of my experience I talked about in the post, including me in his bed. Again I...

Ok, please just stop. This is getting ridiculous. You have nothing in your posts that warrants a PTSD diagnosis, let alone a DID diagnosis. DID is a serious disorder from prolonged childhood trauma that involves multiple parts or personalities. You do not have multiple personalities!

It’s just a tad irritating that you’re finagling a natural death and consensual sex to be traumatic to the level of causing ptsd and/or DID. No, just no. Google is not your friend. Please see a mental health professional who can help you get over your regrettable sexual experience.

You had a bad experience and now you’re dealing with the fallout. It’s called life! I don’t think what you have even rises to the level of a diagnosable mental disorder. It’s called “this sucks and now I need therapy to get past it”.

 

[american98]

Ok, please just stop. This is getting ridiculous. You have nothing in your posts that warrants a...

Dude you have no right to belittle me or my experiences, just because you don't understand what might have lead me that point, you don't know me or my life or how this has affected and changed my life, and as I have stated numerous times I misused the self diagnosed and was more using this as a starting point to seeking help and the only reason I never did this earlier was out of fear of someone doing exactly what you are doing and belittling what I'm saying, if you don't want to offer support of help that's fine, I'm not trying to make light of anything anyone has ever experienced, that's their own personal experience and this is mine, just don't reply if you don't want to offer help, I was using this to point me in the right direction to find help because I feel like this has ruined my ability to form relationships and all I want right now is to have a happy, healthy relationship, so I'm sorry if you think its ridiculous for me to ask for help.

 

[mumstheword]

Dude you have no right to belittle me or my experiences, just because you don't understand what migh...

Anyone who's not helpful, you can always press ignore. Disregard what's not helpful and take what is. I wish you well, bro. You're on the right track, addressing your issues and looking for answers and support. You'll get there. Don't give up on yourself, you're worth it.