Other Psycosis?

[karissa]

It isn't psychosis, they are all ptsd symptoms. You are right, ice queen. Form of dissociation too.

 

[Fawnie]

I wonder if carrying an image to look at visually would satisfactorily replace visual imaging. For example, I have a beautiful fox in his snow coat on my desktop and when I stress too much, I minimize all my windows and just look at it. Maybe something similar would be helpful?

I like that idea. I may have to look for something like that. Thank you!

 

[Fawnie]

Thanks Karissa. I always talk to my pdoc when they happen. I did ask him for something to just knock me out. Maybe I'll ask again.

 

[Fawnie]

Thank you ice queen. My pdoc usually explains things really well but he seems to want me to avoid thinking about this topic so we don't talk about it much. We're shooting for stability I guess.

 

[icequeen]

That is really odd Fawnie, as my pysch actively encourages me thinking about "things" in the belief that doing exposure therapy will eventually reduce anxiety on flashback. The belief is the more you expose yourself to your trauma and keep exposing yourself, eventually your anxiety levels HAVE to come down and in time will stay down at a level you can deal with. There is no intention to make you forget, just let you deal live with it in a more controlled way. I guess different pdocs have different attitudes but I don't understand why something that clearly causes you great pain is ignored, how can you get stability by ignoring things, this is what i did for a long time and my pysch called it avoidance which is not good. exposure is not easy and can seem counter intuitive but I am tolds it's a necessary evil. might be worth discussing with you pdoc why he is wanting you to avoid. good luck.

 

[Reclusive]

Well, my T is working on underlying issues right now that made me vulnerable to the abuse I went through. So we haven't talked about the abuse much at all, or my symptoms, but right now he seems to be focusing more on my self-esteem and agoraphobia. So maybe that's what your t is doing?

 

[sea]

I have auditory and visual hallucinations as well as delusions sometimes if I get really stuck into it. I always thought these were PTSD symptoms but they are apparently not. I also get crazy thoughts, weird beliefs (like the typical "conspiracy theory" paranoid nutcase you see talking to themselves), paranoia, shakiness, etc. Most of my stuff are in some way related to my trauma but not all of them. I have never had a hallucination of something I haven't experienced, like I don't see demons walking around or anything. I usually see and hear and experience what has already happened, accompanied by the delusion that it is still happening (loss of reality). My brain sometimes kicks itself into overdrive and I will stay up for days like I am manic, which has nothing to do with trauma but which never started until recently. I kind of freaked out about being "crazy" but in the end I am still the same as I always was, just with some new word attached to me. From what my doctor explained to me, these are considered "positive" symptoms in that they are outwardly extended (I don't understand all this nonsense by the way) and that some of them can be controlled with medication. Hopefully so.

 

[Reclusive]

Some of what your experiencing sounds a lot like flashbacks to me, which are a PTSD symptom. Worth looking into. And expressing your PTSD in an external way is good for you - I internalized mine for a long time and did a lot of damage that didn't have to happen.

 

[Fawnie]

Thanks for all your thoughts. Doesn't sound fun at all Sea. Both my T and Pdoc think I push myself too hard and so I keep myself more stressed than I need to be. I think it's basically take time to smell the roses and not just the s--- in my past and present. I used to paint a lot but haven't been in that space lately. I set up a sort of studio today and looked for images to see if I could add the effect I wanted to to a painting. I have purchased an essential oil that has a soothing aroma for me.

 

[Srain]

I have been been truly psychotic only a few times that didn't last for too long but needed hospitalization only because someone else was too close to me and I was unable to pull out of it. I don't remember much of any of it except the fighting everyone off of me, or trying to.

I don't really consider the visual or auditory hallucinations psychoses because I don't feel like I'm irrational and unable to function, in a true PTSD manner besides the fact that I'm Agoraphobic, having flashbacks, etc. I've actually come to live with them for so many years, that I don't talk to the shrink about them anymore because I refuse to talk going on anti-psychotics. I've been on a few. The mood stabilizers are the only things that have kept me from running away from home, no matter how much I love my husband (more likely because I DO love him) and home at this stage of the process of healing.

I have to agree with Reclusive, when it sounds like a conversation though, either speak up or shut up!! ;)

Rain